Huh. That was... off. Not sure exactly how, or why, but there was a strong sense of -- Weirdness? Broadness? Malcolm-Diane-Liamness? -- throughout the entire episode that I've noticed with this director before. Different strokes, I guess, but anyway: Tara and Franklin have super strange Tantric sex and he doesn't bite her because she wants it, which is always one of the grosser things about vampires. Once he starts trying to get to know her, she bounces, but that's fine because he's got a lot going on.
Not only is Franklin investigating Sookie, but also was the one that stole the dead body from Jessica last time. Once Hoyt discovers it in a culvert -- minus head and hands -- Franklin shows up at Bill's with the extra parts, and gets Jessica to tell him all about Tara and Sookie's relationship with Bill. By the end, he's glamoured Tara into letting him into Sookie's house, because it's been a whole three episodes since somebody mind-controlled Tara and Chris Claremont was getting bored.
When Sookie shot at the wolf in her house -- that gross one that's been tailing her for Mississippi the last two weeks -- Eric jumped in front of the bullet, so she shoots the wolf in the leg so they can shake him down for info. Once Eric sees the Werwolf rune on his neck, he eats him for lunch, and all Sookie can get is the name "Jackson," which can be a person but can also be a place. Eric is noncommittal and sort of weird about everything these days; it's sort of annoying. (Oh, and Pam is also sleeping with that gross Estonian stripper.)
After giving Eggs a proper funeral and reconciling with Tara, who moves back in, Sookie sets off for Jackson with a werewolf named Alcide, who is seven feet of sexy that owes Eric a favor. (He's sort of the Riley Finn to Bill's Angel and Eric's Spike, but don't let that stop you from loving him.) At a famous Jackson were bar -- called, regrettably, "Lou Pine's" -- Sookie is cool for about five seconds before grabbing one of the FUCrew guys that kidnapped Bill and yanking him back into what is apparently the raping room, so then Alcide has to save her. This scene should have made a lot more sense, or at least been intriguing to watch, but instead it just raced by on a cheap set and made everybody involved look retarded. I don't know how they're going to get around having just publicly alienated all the weres in Mississippi, but whatevs.
In Bon Temps news, Jason is excited about becoming a cop until the road crew finds Jessica's spare corpse lying around, and Bud Dearborn quits because everything is so gross these days. Eric gives Lafayette a car for some reason. Oh, and Arlene's baby isn't Terry's, but she lets him think it is because it makes him so happy. Just wait 'til it comes out talking in Rene's bizarre Cajun accent and then we can watch him go ballistic.
And Bill? Lots going on there, none of that cool. Once he realizes that they're tracking Sookie to force his hand, he agrees to renounce Queen Sophie-Anne and pledge himself to King Russell, who is delighted and still really super-gay. But first he has a bunch of dreams, which vampires don't have, about his old wife when he was alive, Cousin Lindsey, and how that was sad or something. He cried a whole lot but it just seemed like mostly he went back to her, freaked her out, made a mess of himself as usual, and then glamoured her to forget it. Somehow all of this causes him to hatefuck the recent burn victim Lorena with her head twisted all the way around. It's totally dumb looking and lame, but have you met Bill Compton.
All in all, the weakest episode by far. We still don't know what's up with Franklin besides he's creepy, Jessica and most of the Shreveport vamps are weirdly pointless, Sookie is making a hash of the entire idea of getting Bill back, Russell's plans are either super-complicated or ridiculously simple, Bill is clearly going crazy, and Tara is -- once again -- completely without personal sovereignty. Most upsetting of all? A whole episode with no Cooter!
Weird: Bullet time, as Sookie's shot fired at the end of last episode comes matrixing toward the werewolf in her house. Eric jumps in front of it, because he is super fast, but mostly: Why the bullet time? This whole episode is like this. So Eric fights with the werewolf for a good long while, as Sookie labors to figure out why he has once again taken a bullet, but of course he wants to get info from this guy, and is working from a vastly different set of assumptions, i.e., I am a vampire and thus I don't need to shoot every werewolf that hides in my house and jumps at my throat.
Well, in this case he is wrong, and once the grody naked were gets a little of Eric's blood it's not really something he can afford to play around with, so he kills him wicked hard. Sookie stares, and this is the last of his thought-bubble: Think you can mad dog me you fucking fanger? You got nothing on Jackson... He tells Eric he's not talking, since he'll be killed either way -- which aligns with the Werwolf Nazi brand on his neck, which you know means Eric's not gonna waste a second more -- and so then there's a very slippery moment of bloody sex death and then he looks up at Sookie, whose composure is elsewhere, and grins. "Oh. I got your rug all wet!"
Eric Northman, you classy motherfucker. In two seasons I have never once felt that accusations of being provocative for its own sake really applied to this show. But this episode, I don't know. I just don't see the point of some of this, and a lot of it just seems really poorly done. I know there have been episodes I disliked, but it's hard to remember now what they were. Anyway, over in the Mississippi compound Russell's apologizing to Lorena for how she got set on fire just a second ago. She tries to be cool about it, which is quite a feat when your skin is mostly charred and melted, but her cute outfit goes a long way. She takes off for a quick bloodsucking healing session, while Talbot fags out about the upholstery or whatever imaginary fags do when vampires catch fire near their knickknacks. I give about a half of a percent of a damn about Talbot, but if he turns into an actual person at any point I will totally reevaluate. Don't you worry.
Left alone with Bill, Russell tells him to stop setting people on fire, and basically points out that he just cause Louisiana to lose classiness compared to Mississippi, which is embarrassing for everybody. Also, he reminds him, it's rude to have fangs out in front of the King. Turns out it was Lorena who suggested Bill for the Sherriff job, and she's officially part of Russell's court now, so they're going to be working together.