Eric Northman! Why, hello, with your new haircut and your cute little track suit and the Viking horn around your neck. "Good evening, old sport," he says behind Bill, who almost does a handstand. "Eric?" Never quite so happy to see him. "It's the new me," Eric says, grinning and sexy suddenly: "You like?" Bill nods, more than just relieved: "I do, very much." It's not gay exactly, but try explaining their whole deal to F21 lady, when they don't even have words for it yet. Bill's not even really conscious of the thing that happens around Eric; not even Lafayette can handle the ambiguity Eric's packing, and he was born for it. She laughs, embarrassed, and waves them away with a bunch of hoo! and heh! Bill's totally confused, of course, and Eric eats it right up, of course. And then it gets serious, because Eric needs to talk.

With Buddy Jesus behind him, and Old Glory, Jason tries his hand at playacting. "Listen, lady, if you're gonna give them all the rights that normal people have, then how am I supposed to protect my sweet little girl from any vampire who wants to just fly on in and marry her?" (Got there pretty quick, didn't you? Maybe Rene's not as far behind us as we thought.) Sarah's like, "You have a daughter?" and he plays outrageously to the crowd, who loves it: "Well, I was a pretty bad boy -- up until the Light Of Day Leadership Conference! -- so yeah, it's entirely possible that I could." She nods, waits a beat, and returns the serve: "Huh. Well, I don't give a hoot about your daughter. In fact, nothing you say about vampire rights is gonna change my mind. Because..." she turns around and puts in upside-down vampire teeth, mumbling around them hilariously: I am a vampire!

Anybody else would laugh and struggle to stay in character, at this gorgeous sight, but all of this is too close to reality for old Jason, considering how broken and post-traumatic he is. Something safe that turned out deadly. Sarah, Steven, the Conference, the stage: they all fade away. He screams, terrified to be so close to it -- to still want it, so badly, this beautiful, sexy, unattainable woman, now complete with the fangs -- and wigs impressively. He grabs the flag, screaming, smashes it over one knee, and rushes her. She drops onto her back on the stage, caught off-guard by this sudden new twist, and in the audience Luke leaps to his feet, grateful Jason's finally cracked.