True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1918 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Written On The Body

"I don't normally cuss," Sookie whispers in the Hamby's living room, "But you have completely fucked me." Jessica apologizes, seeming honestly appalled: "I know. And I'm sorry, but I swear it was like it wasn't even me doing it." Her tone gets arch, a little teenager bit: "It must be those new vampire impulse control issues." Sookie stares her down: "Fuck your impulse control issues," she hisses, as Eden enters with sandwiches. Sookie thanks her kindly, and mom's voice echoes from the kitchen, demanding stasis and purity: "You already had dinner. Don't touch those sandwiches." Eden doesn't even react, just tells Sookie she's pretty. Sookie's delighted, and tells Eden she's very pretty herself. She is, but the resigned sigh tells a longer, older story: "No, I'm not. Got a problem with hair." Fault: Front door.

Jessica runs to her father, and holds onto him so tightly, for a moment. Mom hugs herself, happy to have the world back. Regardless of the quality of the world, we all want this. Almost regretfully, he pulls back and begins to shake her, voice rising and rising as Sookie stands. "How could you do this? Do you have any idea what you put your mother through? Why, Jessica? You tell me why?" She protests weakly, calls him Daddy, even as Sookie shouts "Mr. Hamby!" in a warning voice. But once he threatens her, Jessica's back goes straight and she nearly smiles: "Go ahead, Daddy. Get your belt," she suggests, shoving him back. And then the fangs: "But this time I'll be ready for you."

Fangtasia!'s banging outside Eric's office, where gunshot Lafayette rolls around on the couch in pain, with the collar still around his neck. Chow laments the blood he's losing and already lost, hates to let it go to waste, waiting for Eric. Pam crooks an eyebrow: "Yeah, maybe one day you'll be Sheriff and you can make the rules." They agree this is doubtful, and smile, distracted by the blood in the air. When Eric enters, Pam does this amazing move, composing herself against a keg or something as though she were just hanging out, not salivating over all that blood. It's adorable and fucking scary, which: welcome to Pam.

"Sorry to keep you waiting for so long," Eric says, grabbing some paperwork and looking over it easily. "How's the leg?" The leg is shitty, but thanks for asking. "After all your proclamations about what a model prisoner you were going to be, you had to try to escape," Eric says exhaustedly. Lafayette points out the odds of him getting killed anyway, and Eric's like, "Well now we'll never know." He asks Lafayette if he'd like to die from the gunshot, or from getting eaten right now, and Lafayette chooses Plan C. Eric's intrigued for a second, doesn't hide it: "There's a Plan C?" Make him a vampire, obviously.

True Blood

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