True Blood
Let's Boot & Rally

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
The Invention Of Roses

Jason: "You know what's fucked up? All this supernatural shit, these killings? They've been going on for years. Us humans just started paying attention because the vamps came out of the coffin... But before that, the supes had been killing people, making it look all natural, and we've been none the fucking wiser. For example, my parents. The vampires, they've been getting away with this shit forever."
Andy: "Stop talking about your parents and your lame storyline and come look over here at these tire tracks, which I just magically can identify for some reason as BF Goodrich radials."
Jason: "But I'm still grunting dumbly about vamp..."
Andy: "-- Shooter stood right here and boom, shot down those poor people in cold blood."
Jason: "They never had a chance. I know! Just like my parents!"

BABCOCK

Alcide, sniffing: "Wolves have been here."
Bill: "Oooh, good point. I forgot how Russell already had a cult. Now he has two! Two cults! Admittedly, the trashiest werewolves and nuttiest vampires, but that kinda comes with the cult territory."
Doug: "I've never been to New York City. If I die, I will never have made it to..."
Eric, verbatim: "-- New York City smells like pee and the people are rude."

Fact #1: That's not New Yorkers, that's tourists thinking they're acting like New Yorkers. I've seen it myself, it's amazing. You put one Midwestern housewife somewhere ridiculous like Times Square, which is only tourists, and she'll turn into Ratso Rizzo faster than you can say "Free Spring Awakening tickets." And I'm not a New Yorker, so I realize even saying this is heading down a hipster-type rabbit hole, but if you watch long enough it all starts to look like a bunch of Sims, set to just spend eternity bumping into each other and being dicks about it and getting their feelings hurt about everybody else doing the same thing, and then they'll all go home and talk about how New Yorkers are rude, despite never having actually gotten attitude from one.

Fact #2: New York does, in fact, smell like pee. This is due to all the pee that is there.

Eventually, holding Doug's hand and trying not to barf from her hangover, Sookie leads them to a room that is just chock-full of people's body parts. And the rats gnawing upon them.

FANGTASIA! EXT

After that very cute video I linked above, Tara heads outside for a smoke. And who is there? Hoyt Fortenberry, looking just as cute in his ridiculous getup as he always, always does.

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True Blood

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