True Blood
Let's Boot & Rally

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
The Invention Of Roses

Alcide: "Vampire bullshit is the bullshittiest bullshit."
Eric: "Uh, werewolf bullshit is ten times stupider than vampire bullshit. Check the tape."
Bill: "Depending on how well the Fanguinistas are taking care of him, he could be on his way right now to eat Sookie. All up. So it's not really a favor-favor..."

Alcide: "Why didn't you just kill him when you had the shot?"
Eric: "I don't want to talk about Godric right now, but I will make the Godric face."

Alcide and Eric get into a grump-fight, and a still-drunk Sookie chills out and laughs, watching them through her hands. The only thing she can hear is a sound like dogs barking at each other, which is not only hilarious but astute: The only person whose thoughts she can even slightly hear are Alcide's. So if you turn off your hungover ears because they're being annoying, that metaphorical sound is all you would literally hear.

Sookie: "Sorry for laughing, it's just that this show is ridiculous. I pick one of you idiots, the world ends. I pick the other one, the world ends. I pick the right one, I barf on his six-pack. There is no right choice, there is just my life. So yeah, a minute after we all break up with each other, I got all three hot boyfriends up in my shit talking about Oh, a three thousand-year-old vampire druid is on his way over here to suck your blood. Which: Fine, must be Sunday. Right? So come on. Get your shit. Let's boot and rally, let's find Russell, let's rush face-first into the jaws of death. Fuck it."

The screen door is still ripped out from Tara's zooming monster breakdown the other night, so she even gets to toss a "thanks, Tara" over her shoulder as she climbs through. Attagirl. Everybody on this show thinks that one more thing is going to do it and everything will be perfect, so they keep doing the most awful dumb things to make that happen. Like Lafayette begging to God to come take God away. Just say fuck it. Just do the Stackhouse and get over it. Rock and roll, deal with it.

FANGTASIA!

Pam: "...You actually look halfway decent."
Tara, who certainly does: "If I wanted to look like a drag queen, I would've raided Lafayette's closet."

What she looks like is Ragged Robin during her Dark Phoenix/Kissing Mister Quimper period, which is to say she looks awesome and slightly uncomfortable. She looks, also, bummed out to have moved from one bartending position to another. One of the terrible things about life after death is that often, you still have to make money. Just ask Kelly Link or Bryan Fuller.

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True Blood

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