BILL & ERIC
The vampires are now doing experiments on the people! It is for vengeance.
All the mayhem in the place -- teeth pulled out, tit-flopping hamster-wheel running, et cetera -- is no match however for the weirdest vampire in all of creation, a Level 3 doing an impression of an imaginary Brett Gelman character, that fucks around with Bill for a second in a singsong voice before twirling out of the frame, who has -- I don't mind telling you -- kind of become my everything.
I don't know that I can write anything that would do him justice, I just know that the way people act about Pam, that's how I feel about Weird Guy Vampire. He is played by someone whose actual name is Victor of Aquitaine, like if you were to go to imdb -- as I did -- you would find out that there is a person named that. Nothing would ever be the same.
While the vampires torture Dr. Psychiatrist -- "You are going to tell me what you did with your rabbit. Did you hurt it? Did you touch it?" is a topic about which I do not wish to know more, but I would imagine has to do with the sociopathy of turning your fetish into your discipline, like, anybody who is that into vampires should not be a doctor of that -- Eric frees Gen Pop F: "Go forth, and kill the humans."
With Violet and the other people connected to Jason in the Hot White Room, the remaining vampires -- who, again, should all be dead from Hep V right now -- have been brunching on Jason Stackhouse, so he's covered in bites and his eyes are even more crossed than usual when Eric arrives to resurrect him -- "You're in for a treat; when you dream of me, dream of nice things" -- and they are buddies. Cut to Jason, high on V (the good shit, Eric's blood, Godric's line), tossing black-humor jokes at the dead guards and generally bouncing off the walls, as they head for the Hot White Room.
Under one of those guards playing possum, of course, is Sarah Newlin, who as usual is displaying impressive adaptability.
Went fishing with Terry and Andy, because Andy wanted him to give Terry a job, and because Sam has a very low bar and manages to be somehow overly generous while also being overly secretive, he offers Terry the chance to come back. Then Terry catches a catfish and they all treat him like it's the Special Olympics, and then he throws the catfish back because every life matters.
Which, obviously, is the point of this episode that got everybody so bizarrely enraged: If every life matters, and since this show needs to justify itself beyond the hour-long action sequence you apparently wanted, it makes sense to contrast the homey Bon Temps stuff with the outsize and nonsensical Vamp Camp stuff. That's what the show has always wanted to be about, it's what the show will always want to be about. The justification for doing it this way, then, would lie in the artistry of how it's done. The interplay between the two levels of the show's metaphor, as expressed in the silences between notes; the connective tissue of the enjambment between each scene.