True Blood
Life Matters

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 532 USERS: B-
What Keeps Us Safe

Sookie: "So anyway, let's see if we can get to the end of this sentence about Terry without it becoming about me, Sookie Stackhouse. Sookie Stackhouse, the town retard, the village idiot, the fangbanger whore. Me, Sookie Stackhouse, the girl who was almost killed by her own father not once but twice. Me, Sookie Stackhouse, telepath."

Nobody: "That is so interesting! Because telepathy is real, so this changes everything. But more importantly, we see how you have been dealing this entire time with a pretty severe mental impairment, which is why you only used to fuck vampires and have now decided to fuck faeries which are the opposite."

Anyway her story about herself is that one time she was at work and this way slutty waitress was all over Terry on his first day and Sookie looked in his head for the first and last time and discovered that he fell in love with Arlene that first day.
"He loved you since the second you walked into his life. And not too many people can ever say that they were loved like that. But you can, Arlene. And I just... You deserve to know it."

Possibly I loved that part.


As Sookie sweetly rests her head on Alcide's shoulder -- deservedly, it was great acting from her and Arlene both -- and they wonder where Jason is and why he's not at the funeral and things that are actually worth thinking about, Bill has a flashback to shit that happened three seconds ago, and realizes that if Eric is full of Ben blood and Bill is full of Ben blood, then they don't actually need Ben to be full of Ben blood -- just one of them. And then what if Eric -- who started major Jesus shit with Bill last week -- turned out to be the one that saved everybody? Bill would piss His panties, obviously. It cannot happen, it must not happen, He must find the White Room and then get inside there and be Jesus on them, Jesus all over them, Jesus Himself into their mouths and veins and hearts and minds.

Here's the thing about that, though: Doors work in a certain fashion of which we are all aware. You open them and then walk through them. So when Bill goes in there, regardless of what is going on in that room there is a door open in that room. So instead of being on fire, you could just walk through that open door, away from the being on fire.

Obviously, the solution to this boneheaded mess is that he should fall from the top of the silo, and then Eric and Jason could open it up from the outside once that has happened, so I'm going to just pretend that is what happened.

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True Blood




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