True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3816 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
The Stackhouse Filibuster

"I suppose. Bill is the first vampire I ever met... that I know of." Sookie says she's not scared that he would ever hurt her; that Adele was right the first time: "Scared because... I don't know what he's thinking." Gran opines that this is a probable relief, given Sookie's circumstances, and stumbles over the elephant in the room, wondering if she's crossed the line. Sookie stands, and takes her stuff to the sink. Why talk about it? "You know," Adele says more loudly, to Sookie's embarrassed back: "Your grandfather used to know things." Sookie's back goes straight, but she doesn't turn: "What things?"

"If somebody was having money problems, running around behind their wife's back. Sick. That kind of thing. Personal things they never would have told anybody about." All shame forgotten, Sookie whips around all OMG, right? "See, that's exactly it. If I don't stop myself from it, I hear everybody's deepest, darkest secrets. I'm sorry! That's just too much information!"

But there's a daylight side to it, just like people. "But then Earl's brother, your great-uncle Francis, came back from Korea in real bad shape. All torn up, from the things he'd seen. Earl knew he was thinking about killing himself. He went over there in the middle of the night one night, Francis was just about to kick the chair out from underneath him. Already had the noose around his neck. But Earl talked him out of it." Sookie looks at her grandmother, who's reaching the point.

"I just think there is a purpose for everything that God creates. Whether it's a unique ability, or a cup of overpriced coffee with too much milk. Or a vampire." Sookie smiles. "God will reveal that purpose when the time is right."

Sookie nods and kisses her cheek; on the stairs, she turns back. "Wait. I thought great-uncle Francis did kill himself. With a shotgun." Gran nods: "Oh yes, he did. But that was years later."

Sookie rolls her eyes, Adele is hilarious and awesome, stares into space, finishes her coffee.

Somebody else is beating down Lafayette's door, later. His shouting curses stop short when he opens the door; he curls himself toward Jason, like a sex kitten in gold lamé. Jason's unfazed, because what: somebody wants to fuck Jason Stackhouse? What else is new. "Lafayette, I need your help!" Lafayette leans against the doorframe: "I am so glad you finally recognized that truth." He's a guide. And Jason? Giggles. "You're wearing gold pants!" Giggles again. I mean, you could die from such a man. They sit on the couch -- the pants are fairly awesome, now that you mention it -- and Jason whispers the word "Viagra" so softly only Sam could hear him. "What?" says Lafayette, loving it. "Viagra. Do you have any Viagra?" Lafayette laughs at him, because -- "Puppy dog" -- Viagra is legal. "You can buy it in the drugstore!" Right, but Jason needs it STAT. "Don't you have anything that would..." Lafayette supplies a troubling metaphor: "Give you wood so hard a saw couldn't cut through it?" Even Jason is kind of amazed by the imagery: "Yeah, that sounds good. I think..." Lafayette admits he's holding something, but it's pricey: "Six hundred a quarter of an ounce." Oh, hell.

True Blood

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