True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: C+
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The Stackhouse Filibuster

Jerry leans back hungrily as Bill lowers toward him, fangs out, with an eye on Sookie either measuring or apologizing: (Stick 'em in already and get infected, you fucking vampire asshole. Come on, do it, let's see how you like Hep D. You fuckers won't be able to move for like a year...) Sookie screams at Bill to stop, and then asks what Hep D is. Jerry rushes her, screaming, and puts his hands around her throat. (How does she know? There's no way, I didn't tell a soul...) "These fuckers killed Marcus!" he screams, and remembers Marcus leaving, hooked on V, while he cried. (We would've been...) Bill zooms over and breaks Jerry's wrist getting him off her; everybody zooms around and Sookie coughs roughly while Liam comes really loudly across the room. These people.

Malcolm knows when it's time to make your exit, which is one point in his favor. "...Well! This has all been very illuminating, but we've got a long ride back to Monroe, and I'm sure we'll all wanna have a little talk with Jerry when he wakes up." He picks Jerry's gigantic hot self and throws him over a shoulder easily. "Out, Janella. We're being evicted." (I have a question and I don't really want to ask it but ... it's actually a two-parter having to do with A) the magical effects of vampire bodily fluids and B) whether Janella swallows, and I can't come up with a decent way to ask the question so I guess we'll find out, plus honestly the way things are going, probably Jason Stackhouse will be the one to find out, so we'll explore this then, I guess, if we have to go there at all, which ... really we don't, ever.)

The boys head toward the door with Janella, and Diane's like, "HEY! Isn't anyone even the slightest bit interested in how this little bitch knew about Jerry?" Bill leans down and tenderly tells Sookie to shut the fuck up: "You can't speak yet, can you sweetheart?" Diane offers to make her talk, and they revisit the previous reiteration about how Suckie is Bill's, for the third time in five minutes. Heading out, Malcolm is hilariously irritated: "Jerry, you stupid bitch! Nobody fucks with me and gets away with it." I love how Malcolm is at once the biggest tryhard of the bunch, and yet issues every statement with this totally normal human intonation.

Alone, Bill takes her face in his hands and then lifts her to sitting on the pivot on one skinny finger. It looks cooler than most of the phang-physics shots we've seen. She pulls away and they both stare into separate distances; he eventually stands up and wanders around, checking out the floor and eventually speaking: "I'm sorry you had to witness that. Their visit was unexpected." (You know what? I kind of hate Bill. Not the character exactly, but just ... the way that he talks is excruciating to me. Especially when it's total exposition like this, because it's ten times more ponderous when he's issuing it in this weirdly enunciated, weirdly emphasized accent from the country of Antebellumnia. I respect this actor's process and I'm not saying it's a lack of craft or whatever, he's got the physicality and body language right, it's just the voice itself that bugs me. Like how no matter how cool and sincere Zach Braff is, I still want to punch his face.)

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True Blood

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