True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2268 USERS: B
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The Five And A Half Minute Hallway

He shoves himself back, finally, black ichor choking from his throat. Maryann laughs at Sookie's confusion, as he continues to choke and barf. "What did you do to him?" she asks, as though the blood of god could ever feed the vampires. When Sookie was scratched and Bill fed her himself, she choked like this, coughing up white bile. Maryann finally looks closer and sees it, the secret; for the first time, Bill's not there to keep it from light. "What are you?" she says, delighted, attracted. And when Sookie's hand rises to push her face away, it shines like a sun. A mask of light and a sound of sparks.

Sookie stares at her hand for a moment before grabbing Bill. "None of your business!" she shouts, hilariously, and he goes moaning and choking after. At the door, Maryann is joyful: "That was fun!" she calls, but it's just Lorena play-acting; alone with her thoughts, her immortal memories, her boredom that's older than Godric was, she has fallen in love. "What are you?" She touches her face, blissfully, and laughs to herself. She's not crazy, she's ecstatic.

"Aren't you glad I didn't take your advice and quit drinking?" Heh. Andy passes a bottle to Sam, while they shiver. "And if I'd left this town when I wanted to, nobody'd be in this situation," Sam worries. Andy tells him he's been good to the town, notwithstanding the occasional nudism, but Sam continues to stress. All this time being invisible, being the good boss and the quiet mystery, the shapeshifter, he's become a celebrity. "What if Terry had shot that guy in the head instead of the shoulder? People are gonna start dying soon." Thinking he's helping, Andy says that's already happening: Miss Jeanette, and Daphne. He can't remember her last name.

"Landry," Sam shudders. "Daphne Landry." He laughs, angrily, wondering if that was even her name. Of course it was. I invoke the rule of this show, which is that nobody has it together enough to lie about anything, ever. Half of their conversations are like, "You didn't tell me you were going to slaughter the town/the humans/the vampires/my family!" And the answer is inevitably: "I, or someone in the know, told you precisely that." I was going to say it's the supes, but the humans are the same way. Everybody leaves shit out when they want to fool you, but nobody ever lies. Daphne didn't lie about a single thing. She fucked him and she told him he was wonderful, and she told him not to be ashamed. And if he somehow thought that meant they were going to have werebabies together, that's on him.

True Blood

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