True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2268 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Five And A Half Minute Hallway

Terry's very spooky and in a whole other war movie now, shushing the zombies and putting down his gun on the table. "Sam Merlotte. There's no escaping, Sam Merlotte. The God Who Comes always gets what he comes for." He lights a cigarette and cocks his eyebrow: "And as for you, Jason Stackhouse. Not cool." Jason points out that no normal God would really be interested in zombie trash like the Bon Temps revelers, and Mike Spencer tosses popcorn in his buddy's mouth and says probably God will eat Jason. Or maybe they will. They laugh like hyenas, and then Sam abruptly gives some lame hero speech and stagedives backwards into their zombie arms.

They are praying super hard now, and tied-up Tara is doing it too, unceasing and freaky. Lafayette puts down his wine glass and slaps the shit out of her, but she just kind of rocks back and forth and keeps at it. "This has got to be the worst motherfucking intervention in history." There's a knock at the door and he thinks it's Sookie, but it's some V-using sorority girl who refuses to take no for an answer... Until Bill appears, scares the piss out of her, and menaces Lafayette about it. Lafayette tells him to talk to Eric about the V-selling, and makes a point of inviting Bill inside his home. After inviting him to slow his roll.

One would think Tara would be happy to see Sookie, since Sookie's been ignoring her almost entirely for, um, twenty-two episodes of this show now, but one would be wrong. "Get me the fuck out, you cunt, or I will kill you." This house is empty. Once it was home. Sookie leans in and tries to do her mindreading thing, but there's just a black cloud. All that fake civilization bullshit just fallen away. Lettie Mae is sort of fascinated, sort of astonished by the fact that Sookie is psychic, but I guess those are the little things you miss when you go on a thirty-year bender. Tara asks her to stop raping her brain, which is... Exactly what she's doing, and it's gross, and this whole thing is gross and violating, and the reason that we know that is that Bill says, "You have to go further into her mind than you ever have before," which is gross on this show, and beside the point, and simultaneously Tara notices the bandage around Sookie's wrist: "You try and kill yourself?" Which is, if you're not careful, exactly what Vampire Boyfriend is about. He could leave you cold.

True Blood

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP