"I don't blame you, with your fucked-up life," Tara spits, and Sookie pushes further into her mind, and sees the first proper Maryann orgy-orgy, with the Reese's Pieces and the dancing, and then there's a black abyss. "Abyss" is the word Sookie uses. Nobody seems to notice what that means: You never go home. This is a violation. Then Bill's like, "I've been raping girls' brains for two hundred years" and tries to give glamouring a try, and Sookie says she doesn't want to hurt her, but Bill doesn't care, so while Lafayette watches worriedly and holds onto Lettie Mae's hand, the two of them force their way into her, together. That is disgusting on every level this show has, and it's going to bite them in the ass.
Arlene tearfully thanks Sam for his service, "For giving us all this gift so that He can come into the world," as they tie him to the roof of a car. Jane cheers when the first of Jason's flares fly over; in zombievision it's beautiful. A figure stands on a car close by, with killer abs and a gas mask, with flashing lights all around courtesy of Andy Bellefleur. "Silence! It is me, the God Who Comes! Ah-ha-ha! I have come, and now I am here!" Mike's not sold; Andy remembers that the Horned God has horns, and runs off to get them. "Sam Merlotte, you are my offering! People, your work here is done. Go home!" Jane's bummed, but God is serious. "He is the best offering ever! You will all have great weather! And good crops! Now leave!" Terry calls bullshit, because God has horns, and Jason does some kind of American Gladiator shit -- my notes say "JS: power move," like that's a thing -- and Andy holds up the branches behind his head, and it's awe-inspiring and hilarious.
Sam slithers down off his other car and comes over through the crowd asking Jason to "smite" him, but Jason can't hear him through the gas mask, so Sam ends up yelling, "Smite me, Lord. Smite me, motherfucker!" So Jason smites him finally, and the lights -- which is like Andy Bellefleur and a flashlight and some PLUR -- go crazy, and Sam vanishes. Which is confusing for his fellows, amazing for the zombies, and dangerous for the fly that Sam now is. They all jump around and cheer, and Jason tells them to report back to Maryann that he's way pleased. Jane Bodehouse goes, "Thank you, God," and he says, "You are welcome." Fake gods always have really good manners. That's how you can tell.