True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2268 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Five And A Half Minute Hallway

Maryann's Mycene goddess figure stands in Sookie's front yard, writ large: A ten-foot lady made of bones and slabs of meat, breakfast and lunch and dinner, vines and ivies and garlands and entrails, flowers and melon's flesh. Her arms are held up in celebration, a vision of abundance and growth, unchecked unto excess. It won't last long in the sun.

Eggs congratulates her on its scope -- "I think you've outdone yourself!" -- and as she laughs Karl appears, with a fat black crow on its back, wings spread, on a board. It was beautiful when it was alive, intimidating, but now it's just craft supplies. "Feathers! Perfection," she says, and pulls them out easily. "I'm thinking more meat," she says suddenly, arms crossed on the first rung. Karl offers more ground chuck, but she spurs him to think about who this is for, this altar made of life. "Corn-fed Kobe it is," Karl says, aiming higher, and she smiles like a poet. "You're finally getting it, Karl." She sends her men for more expensive meat: "Organs, kidneys, livers, anything you can find." Eggs's eyes are black today. "You want us to go kill something, so it's extra fresh?" She laughs like a Martha Stewart nightmare, and shakes her head. "Don't worry, I have other people bringing us something living to sacrifice."

That would be Sam, cowering in the motel room like Michael Shannon when Andy Bellefleur comes back bearing his clothes, from the jail cell. "Station was totally empty. Cells were all wide open. They think I'm a bad cop? You should see the square, it looks like New York City or something. People banging their heads on posts, graffiti everywhere. People pissing all over the sidewalk. This whole town's going down the crapper." While Sam does often think and remark upon the simple rural pleasures of Bon Temps and the encroaching horrors of culture, et cetera, today he is more worried about the immortal handmaiden of God who has their entire town under her command and has decided to cut him open. His priorities are basically in order.

Sam does the whole Ben Is Glory for Andy's benefit one more time, and how Maryann Forrester is to blame for all the weird stuff that has sent Andy on this ongoing bender/Body Snatchers reenactment. He asks Sam yet again what Maryann even wants with Sam, and he shakes his head bewildered: "I think to cut my heart out, while a bunch of naked people watch." He mangles the religious part, but that's a pretty good summation of the immediate issues at hand. "People thought I was crazy because I thought I saw a pig," Andy whines, and Sam reassures him that he did see a pig. He can't bear to tell him what (who) the pig was, because that would mean coming out of the shifter closet to a madman, so he just says she was a part of it, doing Maryann's dirty work. Andy wants to kill her, but as Sam points out that she doesn't die.

True Blood

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