True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Five And A Half Minute Hallway

"So she says God is coming?" Yes, specifically to Maryann's. Sookie asks Hoyt where that is, and Hoyt blushes, because it was once Sookie's house. "They're gonna rip that boy open and serve him up like barbecue!" Maxine cackles. Sookie asks about the clawed thing, suddenly, putting it together; Hoyt's heard that Miss Jeanette and Daphne both had clawmarks on their backs. Sookie and Bill share a look; Jason's more interested in the fact that Merlotte's has a new waitress to fuck, to his sister's amusement, and he's crestfallen to learn she already skipped the Jason-fucking part of the sequence and proceeded right to the dying: "She had her heart cut out, just like the other one."

Jason, of course, is all hopped up on weeks (days?) of bootcamp, and commits immediately to heading off to Merlotte's so he can "find out what the hell is happening on [his] turf." Bill, in an almost-approving but certainly not paternalistic way, tells him they know a bit about the creature, and doesn't want him going near it. The martial drums start, as Jason continues to underscore the wonderful mutual-respect thing they have going: "Mr. Compton, I ain't about to sit back and let monsters destroy my town." Sookie reminds him of his promise to sometimes use his head, so she doesn't have to kick it around the corn patch or whatever the Abnerian fuck she was talking about last week. "Oh, I am. I ain't never been so clear in my whole life. This here is the war I've been training for."

Bill's intrigued, and sees his purpose, and finally holds Sookie back: "He can take care of himself. We've seen that." He nods, man to man, and it's awesome, but... I've decided to punch Bill every time he tells Sookie to shut up. Especially when it's about her house, her family, her shit. So while I love Bill for finally being the only person, besides poor old Amy Burley, to love Jason for what he is, it's balanced by his usual creepy Sookie stuff. They tell him to drive straight there, not knowing it's the center of the hurricane, and to get inside quick as he can. "And do not go into the woods by yourself," Sookie says. It's a personal truth, hard-won from her time with the Minotaur; it's also the first rule of fairytales. He swears he won't, and kisses his sister goodbye.

Like things on a list, Sookie asks after Tara. Hoyt stumbles. "She's been... Partying pretty hard, over at Mary... It's just something that people say!" he says, as Sookie grabs her sweater, but she doesn't understand what he's really saying. She thinks it's just something people say, and she's not concerned: she'll fuck this lady up and then it will be her house again. But you never go home. Bill accompanies her out, and Hoyt wonders if he should have gone along. Jessica, looking as ragged as she has been, declines: "And leave me alone here with her? No fuckin' way."

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True Blood

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