"When I was five years old, that woman told me I could breathe underwater. My little ass almost drowned. So no, boyfriend, I don't listen to most of what come out her mouth." Jesus explains about how crazy people on TV are magical, and that for people with "power," it is very dangerous to be drug dealers: "All that energy you've got, it can go dark if you let it." Lafayette, pinpointing immediately that that makes no goddamn sense at all, opines that perhaps Ruby Jean's crazy has finally rubbed off on Jesus. And, after a stumbling apology and half-hearted explanation from the drug dealer, and a last-minute clinch and kiss, it turns out Ruby Jean's crazy isn't going to be the only one tonight to do so.

By all means, let's have a change of scene. You know what would be cooler than watching the most beloved character on the show make out with the Hottest Man On Television? Watching Eric playing literal chess with fuckin' Talbot. Of course he checkmates, and of course Talbot sweeps the pieces off the board, and then Talbot minces, "I'm bored. Take off your clothes." He chases the guards out of the room with an actual hiss, and Eric drops his shirt and they growl and kiss really awkwardly. That face coming at your face, I can't imagine what that's like; it's even worse when he's acting "horny." But this is what was always going to happen, and it can only lead to one place, so I support it wholeheartedly. Urge it on. When Eric says it's been awhile, he's not talking about men, he says: He's talking about vampires. Honey, you're still barely talking about either.

Jason is not in fact multitasking by going over to fight with Bill in the middle of his date; instead, he has taken a gun to Hotshot and is now waving the thing all over the place. A banjo radio station brings him to one shack in particular, and a big old trail of blood, which leads in turn to a groaning naked man eating the guts out of a deer. When he notices Jason standing there, he hisses like a jungle cat, and Jason runs. Just as he's heading back to his truck, Cal comes back from Merlotte's and gets Jason's whole speech about how Crystal ain't never coming back there and they ain't never going near her again and he's gonna leave Crystal the fuck alone or imaginary cop Jason is going to do something terrible to their hillbilly freak show, and he leaves. And Calvin, there is something in his eyes that says maybe love is real sometimes, and -- I think -- that Crystal might have chosen right after all. Maybe nobody gets out after all.