Alcide has compromised with the Nation of Shirts, to the extent of wearing a wifebeater. Not so bad as compromises go. He doesn't want to leave Sookie alone in Bon Temps because of the army of junkie Nazi werewolves coming for her, and -- even though we know privately that this doesn't particularly bother her, because she is bonkers -- she offers to let him stay in her guest room upstairs. Given that he's probably not going to be getting the Key to the City back in Jackson right now, and all. He calls her "tougher than a one-eared alley cat" and it sounds exactly as dorky as you think, and gives her some unwanted advice about Bill ("Someday it won't hurt so bad") that she immediately turns around on him: "Is that what you keep telling yourself about Debbie?"

(Sookie! How come it's always about you, until it's actually about you, and then it's not? Stop being so defensive. Yes, you have this thing in common. But he's being nice, so stop being a dick. Just kidding, she only did that so he would back off, because he was saying that while stroking her hair, which is a bit of code for how once this whole mess settles down, maybe they can do it. Anyway, it does the trick and he lays off.)

Before Alcide can look even more wounded, if that's even possible, Andy and Jason come running in with some half-assed legal ideas about pressing charges on Bill for murdering her that time, and Sookie doesn't even have the energy to tell them to shut up. As far as she's concerned, breaking up with Bill was punishment enough. ("I was the retard that locked myself in that van with him" is not something she's going to say, but it's sort of there on the table to think about.) Anyway, since Sookie doesn't know about how Jason killed Eggs the other day, she doesn't understand the intensity of Jason's need to be a hero, so she just thinks he's being dumb, and when he threatens to kill Bill she tells him he's no killer.

In Jason's dumb head is even more dumb stuff -- Shut up brain stop thinking she's gonna find out... -- and Sookie asks him about why he's being all secretive. Also, she implies, he is being a trashy racist and that Gran would not approve. Yes, exactly: Find more ways to question his masculinity, that's exactly how you make boys stop acting stupid. So now Jason's got a three-pronged plan for becoming a man. Number one, atone for Eggs: The Cop Thing. Number two, stop being a boy-man whore and settle down like you're supposed to: The Crystal Thing. Number three, now, protect his sister since he never seems able to pull that off: This Bill Thing. That's precisely three more thoughts than he's ever had rolling around in there. I am sure it will be fine.