(Tara's got needs. 1) Shower. 2) Masturbating. 3) Fantasies about Franklin Mott. Tara accomplishes all three of these needs at once. Oh wait! Nope, sorry Clarice, it was just a horrible sexy dream.)

Speaking of crazy moms, as we were before that little break, Ruby Jean has flown the coop and is now on Lafayette's porch, winging Buddhas at him and calling him "Lala" and acting crazy as usual. Why is she there? Because on TV crazy people are magic. What's her message? I will quote it because it's vastly important, because see above re: crazy people. "Hell, I came to protect you. They coming for you... The vampires, the witches. The dogs and the cats! They know. They all know. And they are coming for you, baby. But I got here..." Great, great. Dogs and cats, wizards and witches, werewolf Nazis, Rachael Ray is coming for you, Jill Zarin's on her way, Gwyneth Paltrow has some ideas about your deportment, everything bad. Maggie Gyllenhaal's face in your face. Got it. Now where the eff is Jesus?

Sookie's -- oh, this is sad -- laying out in her bikini and weeping. Her very favorite thing, and now it makes her cry because of what she's giving up. Tara shows up to hold her hand and lie there with her, and they discuss how much Sookie used to love lying in the sun soaking up rays instead of thoughts and Gran always yelling about sunscreen. "You're frying like a fritter in a pan!" they chorus, smiling. Sookie gets pensive. "My whole life's at night now." Tara wonders what she means, since she dumped the fanger, but doesn't say that out loud. Sookie dumbly confides in her best friend about it. "No one's ever hurt me so bad. I trusted him with every part of me."

Tara tells her that she was stupid to trust him, and that simultaneously she shouldn't blame herself for any of what happened. At this point, of course, it becomes clear that Tara is pulling a total Sookie on Sookie: Making the conversation about her without letting the person in on the fact. And just as when Sookie does it, it makes her appear brain damaged and possibly awful as a person.

"I knew what he was the minute I laid eyes on him. I knew he was dangerous. And I ain't gonna lie, that's part of what I fell in love with." (This comes up later.) Tara tells her that after all, Bill gave her his blood before their first date, so maybe the whole thing was a mirage. In fact, maybe he glamoured her into thinking they were in love! Sookie's offended, of course, because that doesn't work on her. Maybe, she asks, they are just breaking up? It was that simple? She's trying to get over it?