Over in the hallways of Russell's always-hoppin' mansion, Eric grabs Hadley and tells her to give her a message: "Tell her exactly what I say, and nothing more." Probably that will be awkward, because the last time Hadley saw her family they were paying for rehab and she'd run out on them. Well, at least she'll get to hear their awful uncle got murdered, that'll be good. It would be good, to give her that news.
Just when you thought it was safe to assume Alcide was your new roomie, his awesome sister Janice calls to let him know that Debbie and her pack have burnt down the salon. Sookie, of course, makes it all about her, but he just blows her off: "Debbie was crazy long before you came around." Alcide asks her to come with him to take care of it, since there is an army of werewolves and vampires coming to kill her, but she tells him not to worry about it. Of course, this is obviously the plan -- to get Alcide away from Sookie so she has no protection -- but not even if you added Jason to the braintrust that is Sookie and Alcide could you possibly get them to figure that one out.
Sookie, how come you are going to stay in that house where people are constantly chasing you around it with knives and actual wolves? "I am not gonna spend my life running. That's not a life." Alcide suggests that she call Jason and Andy, and she says that would only put their asses in danger too. Valid. Although spectacular, I think, to watch. Every living thing is eventually forced into the ring; I'm really interested to see how and where Andy gets involved this year; almost as interested in seeing Lala's potential flower.
Alcide doesn't want to leave Sookie alone in her ratty old Maryann-destroyed house, but of course she already has that covered: Bill's just across the cemetery. Just because they're not dating doesn't mean -- she hopes -- that he won't zoom over there and save her from the vampires and werewolves that are totally coming to get her. "You can read minds and shoot light out of your fingers. Who am I to tell you what's best for you?" Um, a person who is not crazy? A person with a logical brain who understands that "I'm going to stand here until all my friends are dead" is not really a plan either? Next time just call Sam and tattle, he'll figure out a way. They discuss how they should have just fallen in love with each other, and almost kiss, and it's super hot, and she makes him promise to come back for a visit sometime. Fingers crossed -- no one's getting out -- but then he's gone again, and she's all alone. Very small girl on a very big porch.