True Blood

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B
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Without Stadium Love

Left alone, Eric continues to talk about Sookie some more. Russell points out that she's a good secret weapon, considering he just started a massive vampire civil war. Eric goes on about her for a while, and finally Russell zooms up into his face about how he's now proven he's not a loyal Sheriff: After all, he basically beat Sophie into marrying him yesterday. So why wouldn't he do the same thing here? Especially now that Pam is back in action?

Eric plays here to Russell's megalomania/self-respect, and it's super weird, going down on his knee and kissing the King's ring and talking shit about Godric -- that one hurts, you can tell -- and generally just selling everything out because Russell's sooo amazing and badass, and he says that killing the Madge -- which even Russell is thinking was maybe not such a hot idea -- was the last straw and now he just knows that Russell's the liege for him. (There is an implied blowjob I'd imagine somewhere in there, but given that Eric can't even watch TV without the TV thinking he wants to make out with it, we'll just assume.) Now of course, when he says "I have been searching for you for a thousand years," we know he means something different, but I'd imagine anybody who can put up with Talbot for 700 years probably has a good deal of his own vanity, so Eric's probably playing this pitch perfect. Sure is yucky to watch, though.

Terry lays on Arlene's tummy and sings the mockingbird song about buying your children things -- "When's Papa gonna buy Mama a diamond ring? That's what I wanna know..." she giggles dreamily -- but then before you know it he's turned into Rene, her babydaddy and the Bon Temps Strangler that Sookie killed. Arlene's dreamland is on the nose, isn't it? Dream-Rene sings in that fake Cajun accent he was so good at, and informs Arlene that whether or not he is dead now doesn't matter: "Death can't keep me from my boy. You're gonna finish what your daddy started, ain't you [some Cajun endearment]? Gonna be just like your old man, you." He's in the kid's blood et cetera et cetera. Um, frankly it's still more disturbing that he's got Arlene's blood in him. At least Rene had the decency to have two personalities; Arlene's just got the one.

Arlene wakes up screaming with Rene's hand around her neck, and Terry tries to calm her ass down. (Rule #1 for sleeping with Terry Bellefleur: No sudden moves and no random screaming.)

Jessica is just over the moon with Bill being home, which surprises them both. She's a good girl; immediately tries to come clean about that trucker she accidentally killed, but he's all business due to the fact that the King of Mississippi has an army of Nazi werewolves coming to kill everybody. (This urgent truth is a theme in the show, but it seems like Bill's the only one who really finds it notable.) Of course, in true Bill style he leaves out the actual facts and just tells her to pack her shit and get out of the house and there is no time, yadda yadda, which is the exact same conversation he kept having Sookie over the first half of the season that made everything take so long: "As your maker, I release you." Of course, Jessica has no idea what that means because she has no idea about anything because Bill forgot to teach her anything useful except his favorite hobby, being down in the dumps.

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True Blood

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