True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Without Stadium Love

Tara, you're so awesome. She was like, "Bad things happen! But you broke up with Bill! So you are a dumb bitch! Be my friend! I'm so disappointed in your character! Accept my logic!" Alcide's like, "If my flirting can help at all, I suppose it's a man's job to go ahead and flirt. Point me to her." But honestly, Alcide flirting probably has a host of beneficial properties. "Ever since Alcide Herveaux flirted with me I've noticed I don't get colds anymore. Now I'm going to college online and working on getting my degree!"

"Ever since Alcide ran around our town with no shirt on, the crops are doing awesome and traffic congestion during rush hour has gone down 44%."

Jason opens up his box of Fellowship of the Sun stuff and grabs some silver bullets I guess, or maybe just regular ones from being in a paramilitary boot camp, but then Crystal shows up beating down the door and asking for the keys to his truck. She's gotta get out of town fast and no mistake. She's all wet because she swam there so "they" wouldn't "track" her scent, but that one goes right over Jason's head too. Other information about the situation is not forthcoming, and she's somewhat apologetic about causing him trouble, but she needs the truck and all. Jason notes that she has been beaten to hell, which I admit I didn't notice right away because her face is so mindblowing anyway. She's like, if he's going to fucking ask her all these questions she'll come in, but he needs to supply her with a towel and some whiskey.

Tara's at work, so busy thinking about her dumb bitch friend that she forgets she's having a flashback until it's too late. Remember when Franklin came to the bar and asked her for a TruBlood? Before you know it, she's dropped it and there's fake blood everywhere.

Arlene is interviewing and close to hiring a new waitress, Holly Cleary, and tells her not to mind Tara. "She's all bark and... Well, she bites too. But at least she ain't a vampire like our hostess." Holly looks like Grace Zabriskie's hotter, younger sister. Let's put it that way. She's got pigtails and could be a very experienced thirty or a very sprightly fifty. She's awesome to look at, but not all that comforting. (Of course, the actress playing her is -- call it the Arlene Effect, or the Bon Temps Effect -- very pretty indeed. I've always thought she was pretty; she's half-sisters with Julia Louis-Dreyfus and you've seen her around, just not looking like this.)

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True Blood

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