True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 429 USERS: C+
You Have The Sun, I Have The Moon

When we talk about gay Scoutmasters, okay, we picture some guy with a mustache walking in off the street, wanting to abscond with your kids. We are not completely to a point in our culture where we understand that you're really actually just talking about gay moms and dads wanting to take part in their kids' lives. Same thing with gay marriage: Why, when gay people are just straight people who are cruddy at it, would they take the long way around? Isn't the whole point being bad at monogamy and commitment? Aren't all gay people into leather and pedophilia and glory holes? (Me, I say kids get it easier than most adults: Some princes want a princess, some princes want a prince. Blowjobs don't really need to come into the story, any more than a kid's story about a girl and a guy needs to have blowjobs in it.)

We aren't to the place where gay people -- where any minority -- are people, in these ways, which is how privilege works: Women are just men who can't drive, black people are just white people who've managed to become poor, gays are just straight people who do this one weird thing. Where you run into trouble, assuming everyone fits (poorly) into your own standard, is in situations like this, where you're getting in your own way -- and mine -- for no good reason. Being exotic is helpful until it stops being helpful, at which point you are a in cage that happens to be your entire life.

And since you can't talk a person out of their blindness while they're experiencing it -- since nobody's mind was ever changed by being called an asshole -- then maybe this short, sharp shock, this lifeboat situation, is more important to human/vampire relations than what it, itself, engenders. The idea that vampires are people is more revolutionary than fluid-bonding with one to save your family: Vampires profited, after coming out, from mixing up their eros and thanatos and selling themselves as these sex creatures from beyond, which is true to an extent, but has now become the least interesting thing about them.

"If we're gonna be safe, every single human needs a vampire and every vampire needs a human. I hope I'm gonna see all y'all tonight. If I don't... God be with you."


Vampire James, of course, is a rocker in the band. Lafayette is there, everybody's there except Andy. A strangely wet-haired vampire caresses an old lady's neck; a bearded guy asks a young woman about her results, hurriedly. Jason jokes around with Arlene and passes a plate of corn around the place, giggling with a young lady while he refills her iced tea, much to Violet's lack of amusement. A woman playfully shows off her fangs to a friendly woman: Death plays Mercutio here, crossing racial and age lines with abandon, and everyone's invited. Thunder in their hearts.

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True Blood




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