True Blood
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Episode Report Card
admin: D | 1 USERS: C
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Body Dysmorphia & The Lapin Agile
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

So I guess how it went down is once Bill saved Tara from Pam in the middle of the Spooky Witch Fight, he ran off to Sookie's house. Meanwhile, Marnie was doing her magic on Eric, so she left with him in tow. And I guess they kept fighting for a second, and then realized that the idiots that got them into this fight were gone, and they decided to stop dying and head back to base. I guess that's how it happened, although I don't know that a regular fight would go that way. But nobody there was really interested in fighting, besides Marnie and -- symptomatically -- Eric.

First we catch up with Sookie and Alcide and what's going on there is that Bill is trying to get her to drink some blood while Alcide looks all huffy in the corner of her house. But she won't drink the blood! Because she is dead! And then those two boys get barfy.

Alcide: "Well? Ain't there anything else we can do?"
Bill: "We can pray."
Alcide: "Werewolf and a vampire? Who's gonna listen?"

Then they both stare into space and feel bad about Jesus or something? Personal drama, I guess, that we never even knew about. Neither of them has felt particularly bad about their lot specifically in this way before, and it's at odds with the show's general attempts at basing their abilities in science and the secular world, but whatever. For the purposes of this scene -- which, as we'll see, has nothing to do with the rest of the episode, much less the series as a whole -- they're both damned and depressed about it. How sad that they kept it hidden from us for so long. I guess that's what it is, to be a man. A vampire or a werewolf man.

WITCHHOUSE

All the witches bitch about how they were attacked by vampires, which isn't what happened, and then they yell at Marnie for bringing Eric home with them, so she explains through a demonstration that Eric is hers to command. That one dorky guy with the beard, of course, loves that. Not because he's an actual person or character, you understand, but because he's the cardboard face we can hang that particular response on -- "Witchcraft oui! Vampires non!" every single time anything happens.

Tara: "Hey, how come you ignored Bill trying to be cool to you? And got us killed?"
Marnie: "Let's do some more witch stuff!"
Holly: "No, seriously though. How come."
Marnie: "I said witch stuff!"
Holly & Tara: "Maybe this is a terrible idea and we should talk about it like good Wiccans. I'll go get the conch."
Marnie: "No! No thinking! I am locking everybody up inside this Emporium! Magically!"

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True Blood

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