True Blood
Save Yourself

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: B-
My Early Life

Eric, verbatim: "She's a mad God, Bill. She's nothing but destruction. Don't do it..."
Bill: "You want mah Precious!"
Eric: "Fuck no. Throw it in the fire, you tool. See if I care."
Bill: "...Nope, still crazy."

Sookie: "Beel, this isn't you."
Bill, scary: "What the fuck do you know about me? For all you know, everything I did while with you was an act calculated to elicit a particular response."
Sookie: "I know that's not true."

Uh, actually you know it is true. You've broken up with him like six times over it, because it's totally true. Queen Sophie-Anne ring a bell? Faerie lore, genealogy, King Russell, secret files? Letting the Rattrays beat you bloody so he could get you addicted to fucking him? Nothing?

Bill: "Because of the light you bear? Did you ever consider the possibility that it's a handicap? One that blinds you to the most obvious of truths, that you are an Abomination? Just like the vampire Bible states?"
Sookie: "Bill, I don't know what you're talking about, nobody knows what you're talking about. That was some really inelegant ranting. But I'll tell you something. You are certainly stronger than this. You are capable of sympathy, and kindness, and generosity. You are unique, among all the vampires I have met. Don't throw that away."

And then a funny thing happens, because he explains very eloquently exactly why he has to. His entire story, from his first birth to his second one, assumes a very different and a very sad shape, but a compelling one, shaped like the whole world:

"I have spent my entire life as a vampire apologizing, believing I was inherently wrong somehow. Living in fear, fear that God had forsaken me. That I was damned. But Lilith grants us freedom from fear. Vicissitudes 9:24, Fear not, for my blood is beyond fear -- fear of sin, fear of mankind, fear of retribution -- for thou art begat by God. And this world is but a spring to slake thy sacred thirst."

They can't believe him, because it sounds so crazy; they can't believe him because they love him. But it's true. Our Bill is the opposite of the real Bill Compton, no less real for all that, but a shadow just the same. And the whole time he was crippling himself he told himself it was for us, for the right reasons, for the good of the world, and it was bullshit. He took Jason's way out, he took Hoyt's way out. He took everything that was true and shining about himself and pushed it way down, shattered it into sparks. And the more he crippled himself out here, in the world, the Other Bill was down there in the well, getting stronger and fiercer and realer and meaner and scarier, and more and more twisted. Convinced the cup is more important than what's inside; crushed into a diamond by the pressure down there.

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True Blood




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