True Blood
Save Yourself

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
My Early Life

TRAILER

Jackson Herveaux, being the classy motherfucker he is, knows what you do with an OD of V: Colloidal silver push, which causes the person to sweat grotesque amounts of blood as though they are Lilith. Rikki looks even grosser than she did a second ago.

Alcide: "Wait, you mean if I could have got some of this into JD we could have had a real Packmaster competition? Fair and square?"
Martha: "He was a good wolf, once."
Alcide: "So was my dad. Seems like mostly what werewolves talk about is how they didn't used to suck, but now they do. Makes me wonder what we'll be talking about say a week from now."

Rikki: "By the way, thanks for the Fuck & Run, you chump."
Alcide: "I just have a lot of feelings."
Rikki: "Whatever, that's clear. So what happened was, he held down all us girls and poured blood into our throats and did some rapes*."
Alcide: "Man, if only I weren't so against drug abuse I would do some V."
Jackson: "I clearly have better V than what your girlfriend's shitting into my couch stashed all over this trailer. Look at me."

*(Why? Because it's True Blood. There's always gonna be rapes.)

SAM

Flies around. Finds Steve's room eventually, and makes up a plan of some kind. What is it? Well, what do you think it is? Luna's a skinwalker with access to Newlin's clothes and a boyfriend who is somehow risk-averse and foolhardy at the same time.

MERLOTTE'S

There's a fairly delightful scene in which Lafayette, at the end of the shift, brings Cajun margaritas to Holly ("Oh my Goddess," she says, just in case you forgot one of her two traits she has) and Arlene. They are so good that everybody is adorable, even Arlene, and everybody dances around enjoying his delicious witchy cocktails.

My friend Erik was like, "They're being too awesome. He's going to have a demon face or a smoke monster is going to eat them in a second." As though she heard him say this, Maurella immediately appears with Andy on her arm and her fairy belly full of belly-fairies. Oh, and Jane Bodehouse is at the bar, drunk but looking wicked cute. She must have had a makeover during that time I thought she might be the Dragon because she is looking great. Still ruint, yes, but better than she ever has before.

Andy: "Can you hang back while I get the shit kicked out of me by my witch girlfriend?"

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True Blood

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