True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A-
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Sex & Candy
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

You can tell Bill's pissed, because his mouth is making the same face as always but his eyes aren't doing that sympathetic eyebrow thing. That equals mad. Also, passive-aggressively driving superfast with your scared girlfriend next to you and your sniveling bleeding-eyed daughter in the backseat. Sookie yells at him to stop it, and he pulls over, finally, although with vampire reflexes I'm sure driving that fast is perfectly safe. Like when they go zooming superfast like that, they probably bump into things really rarely.

Sookie apologizes for taking Jessica to murder her family, but... Bill immediately jumps up her ass about his favorite topic under the moon: "She is vampyre! She has no family!" Jessica, not understanding that this is now all about rhetoric and semantics, because it's Bill and Sookie and if they don't have a fight every six minutes they'll both die, jumps in there saying the meanest thing she can think of: "I'm a monster and I'm gonna be alone forever! Because of you!"

Which is masterful on several levels, because not only is it about how he's totally guilty about Jessica even existing, but manages to score an indirect hit off his obsessive relationship with Sookie, which is intense precisely because they're each other's one shot. (And on the meta-Jessica level, awesome because it presages her finding her own version of Bill/Sookie, and all the gender and sexual reversals that arise from that, not only thematically but as actual, kitchen-sink foreshadowing: "I'm going to be alone forever," she says, working off the powerful loneliness of -- can you imagine? -- Bill Compton and Sookie Stackhouse being literally the only other people in her life.)

He tells her to shut up as she continues to whine, and she tells him to eat shit, awesomely, so he says it in his Vampyre Lord Maker Daddy voice, which shoves her physically back into the seat cushions. He tries to explain to Sookie how many different ways she fucked up. "You undermined my authority as her maker. You risked those peoples' safety and your own. If I had not glamoured them within an inch of their sanity, our lives would have been shattered." Sookie's like, "Dude! Gotcha! My bad!" He asks her what use her apologies are, and she asks him what use being a big baby about it is now, and she's like, "Okay, but also my Gran died, sad face, so let's think about that for a second." Bill says, very logically, that the fact her Gran went down in a storm of blood that Sookie cleaned up with her own two hands is not admissible for this fight, and calls her an "irresponsible child," which amazes Sookie, because it's amazing, because when you're dating somebody literally one-twentieth your age, you can't say that shit. "She is a loaded gun, Sookie. Not a doll for you to dress up and play with."

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True Blood

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