True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A-
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Sex & Candy

Hoyt's on the couch, shirtless, groaning, in such a way that from the door it looks like Jessica is feeding on him. They freeze, and then Bill zooms across the room and tosses her across the room. She complains, swearing she wasn't going to bite him, which is hard for Bill to believe, but is also only half the problem here. Because the other half -- and again, this is what's so great about this episode and storyline, is that having a girl teen vampire is that it queers the whole thing, both figuratively and literally: The danger of sex, if you're boring and/or straight and think that there needs to be a victim in sex, is one thing: You have a daughter, every boy is trying to get in there, and you go crazy. Or you have a son, and you egg him on.

But if you are lucky enough to have a gay son or daughter, you're in an impossible place because A) you don't want to think about particulars, so it's hard to talk about them at all or give advice, and B) you're not sure who the sex is victimizing. Similarly, as much as this freakout is about not letting his daughter kill boys, it's also about the fact that some fucking redneck was making out with his daughter on the motherfucking couch. So Bill growls terrifyingly and pops fang at Hoyt, who stops trying to reassure Bill that he's okay and starts wondering if he is going to die after all, and Sookie's like, "Bill! Don't!"

Meanwhile Dean's barking on the pier, afraid to jump in with Sam, and he takes off, passing Daphne on the pier. "Were you just talking to that dog?" Sam asks what she's doing hanging out in the middle of the night, and she says she's trying to cool off. "And I can't sleep. See, I have this hard-ass boss, who really laid into me this week..." Sam grins and momentarily forgets that he's totally naked in front of an employee, not to mention that until about one second ago he was a dog. He laughs and says her boss sounds like a jerk. "He's not all bad. He can be real nice... to dogs..."

Sam apologizes, admitting that he's been tough lately, and has a lot on his mind, and she grins as he tries to say that she's getting the hang of waitressing, and finally laughs at him. "You're even worse at lying than you are at being a boss, Sam Merlotte!" There's a lot of jiggery-pokery where neither of them want to acknowledge the fact that she is totally getting in that lake with him, naked or in panties, and that's going to be amazing in a whole other way, so they fake their way through it and she finally just takes off her shirt. Under which, running down her back from the left shoulder to her waist, are four long deep scars, from four very large claws.

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True Blood

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