"Is it my fault my fangs come out when I get turned on?" Bill is literally struck still, in a sort of horror, by this statement. If he were not already dead one might say he gains a pallor. Jessica slams her hand over her mouth, giggles madly, and dashes upstairs. Sookie follows a few steps and then sits down instead, to bend to the task and consider how best to make this about her.

"I think I'm going to like her." Bill doesn't like the sound of that, nohow, and reminds her that she is not allowed to befriend her daughter, at the risk of the like one half of a nut he still has: "Yeah, I get it. She is vampyre." But also, duh, I already know that and I got paralyzed on the way back from finding that out, so chill. And even more importantly, it would be great if you would bond with Jessica and thus get over your self-hatred, because hating vampires is no less grody when you are one. (Not to mention, again, that putting that shit on Jessica is the best way to fuck her up, vide her entire situation when she was alive.) He doesn't get it. "Hating yourself? Is a bad thing?"

Vampire Bill actually smiles, and becomes adorable and almost sexy for like one second: "I am vampyre! I am supposed to be tormented!" Sookie smiles back, and reminds him that neither he nor Jessica necessarily needs to be either tormentor nor "just a vampire." And then again he shows a sense of humor talking about how great he is at walking the line between vampire and human, with a quirk in his mouth. "Okay, so you can teach each other," Sookie says. His eyes go sad, in addition to music which is also sad, because oh my God the many torments of Bill Compton.

And oh my God the way the gay/vampire metaphor jumps up in some strange places. "It's so different for her. When I was made, one had no choice but to live completely outside the human world, as an outlaw. A hunter. Humans were prey and nothing else." (And now Jessica can get married! In certain states, for the moment! And she doesn't have to watch Steven Weber pretend to be a vampire in thirty different goddamn patronizing movies about Hep V! Or pretend to like Liza Minnelli!) "I envy her," says an entire generation of handlebar-mustachioed vampires, and Sookie nods.

"I'll need to call the airline to arrange for two travel coffins instead of just one..." Having gotten her way, Sookie lays on the sweetness. "Isn't it exciting? Our first trip together!" But Bill sulks, because it is sullied by the taint of Eric Northman and putting Sookie in danger and whatever. "Come on, Bill! I was almost killed last night. Again!" Sookie is the funniest in this episode than I think she has ever been, it's awesome. "At least give me this." He puts his arm around her and pretends to be happy and kisses her forehead, and they cuddle, and I love them so much more now that they're not pretending to be anything other than the dorkiest dorks that ever fang-dorked.