But no, Arlene is goddamned determined that her son is going to be a serial murderer, so she gets in his face and it's so annoying.
Arlene: "Mikey, Mama loves you so, so very much, but you have got to understand. Killing is wrong!"
I mean, I love the idea of being so afraid of something that you send it metastatic, that's a huge thing with this show, and of course Arlene's so effing dumb that you can play it nearly straight, like how people get so scared their kid will be gay that they turn them into real fucked up individuals, but she's just so damned Arlene all the time. On the other hand she's, if possible, even prettier this year.
Every show eventually has to pretend cage fighting is this craze sweeping the nation, because just like on TV shows, people are constantly looking to reinvent themselves and also express their rage and grief. For those with extra rage and grief and empowerment issues, there are these underground Fight Clubs everywhere that will do this for you.
Since Tara has more rage and grief and empowerment needs than anybody that has ever lived -- but is not a shapeshifter, so the dogfights aren't going to do it for her -- she's there. And then, you've also got the whole roller-derby thing with hot chicks beating each other up for the amusement of other hot chicks, which is actually real. So of course Tara has run to the cage fights of New Orleans and wins her match. We're treated to her screaming her ass off after she wins and then smiling hugely and happily -- and a little intensely -- at the lady she just whupped and, I don't know. It's nice.
I feel like Tara Thornton is the Betty Draper of this show and there's no point in fighting the tide or relating to her storylines in any way, because nobody's going to hear it. It's water cooler protocol in any conversation about this show to name check how stupid either Tara or her storylines are as a matter of course. So now instead of running divine orgies or getting masking-taped to toilets in her wedding dress, Tara's going to be beating up ladies. Happy now?
Jessica's watching a nature documentary about bears fucking each other up and loving it -- the scene transitions in this episode are genius -- when Hoyt comes home in just a foul mood. He's hungry, he's whiny and he's working really hard on not assuming his woman will cook for him, while also adjusting to life outside the constant bed and breakfast of Maxine and there's no food in the fridge, so he bitches.