True Blood
She's Not There

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Dessert Of The Real, Or: Shut The Elf Up!

Eric, after affectionately snapping the mic off Pam's twinset: "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Eric Northman. I'm a tax-paying American and small business owner in the great state of Louisiana. I also happen to be a vampire..."
Bill: "You know, as the oldest member of this community, Ah would have been eligible to take up residence here 110 years ago! But it warms mah heart to see the most beloved folks of our town, taken care of in the way that they deserve..."
Eric: "Now the past year, there's been a lot of inflammatory talk from politicians warning their constituents not to trust vampires. But think about it for a second, who would you rather trust? A vampire? Or a politician?"

(Beat, while you consider the fact that Eric just made a fairly broad joke at his own expense. And then another one, while you consider the fact that Bill is not only obsolete generally, but also so super creepy when he's trying to be ingratiating or normal in any way.)

Bill: "Ah must offer my gratitude for the generosity and the open-mindedness of the Bon Temps Chamber of Commerce, led by the redoubtable Miss Portia Bellefleur..."
(Portia, played by the redoubtable Courtney Ford, nearly winks at him from the front row. Hmm.)

Eric: "The truth is, vampires are as different from each other as humans are, because we were humans, and we ask only to be treated as such..."
Bill: "Ah am also grateful to be able to honor mah wife, Caroline, who was a treasure of this community for over 60 years. And many of these trees on this street were planted by her, and all the other members of the Arbor Society. And it is mah wish that this center will grace our town for as long as these trees have stood around us..."
Eric: "And we welcome you into our world as well. We're always more than happy to serve humans here at Fangtasia!... And I don't mean for dinner!"
Bill: "...Now then, we can't have a ribbon cuttin' without the giant scissors. Mister Mayor?"
Mister Mayor: "Thank you, Mister Compton. It's kinda nice not bein' the oldest person here for a change!"

Which, Eric gives good spin and all, but there's a larger thing about how, in a Post-Russell World at this time in history, there's not a huge shitload of difference between one-on-one and TV time. Eric seduces the camera, while Bill shakes hands and pats babies. They're both earning it a smile at a time -- and don't think Nan hasn't thought all of this through -- but in a way that touches every demographic simultaneously: There will be footage of Bill doing the handshakes, globally, and there will be people visiting Fangtasia! from all around, locally, so everybody gets both messages.

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True Blood

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