True Blood
She's Not There

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Dessert Of The Real, Or: Shut The Elf Up!
Sookie: "There we go. Thanks for my job back after disappearing for a year, that's more like the Sam I remember."

KITCHEN

Jesus: "Lafayette, please talk to me. I'm sorry that witch said she was going to contact a ghost and then contacted a ghost. I guess we had no way of knowing she was going to do that."
Lafayette: "Fine. Why do you want me to join a cult with you?"
Jesus: "After all we've been through and how hot we are together, you think that I would lure you into a cult? I think it's because you're scared magic is real."
Lafayette: "Bet your hot ass I'm scared magic is real! You are not being psychic about that. That is regular sensory perception."

Jesus: "Okay, look. Ever since your batshit mom and I figured out that you are magic, you have been in a tizzy. But to me, it is an awesome thing about you. So it's painful to me to watch you run away from something amazing, that makes you special, just because of that one time all the dolls were talking to you and we hallucinated the human sacrifices of history. Or that other time God made you a bridesmaid in a nightmarish ritual, or that time that a witch killed your friend for drugs, or that other time when your cousin killed a little girl and barfed and her mom drowned a possum and found Jesus, or also because of every experience you've ever had in your entire life."

Andy, running in all crazy: "I need to talk to Mr. Reynolds in private about some very important police business where you give me drugs!"
Jesus, bouncing: "Please come to the witches tonight, okay?"
Lafayette: "Maybe. Andy, I don't have any drugs for you."
Andy: "Don't talk to me like I'm a idiot! I'm the sheriff of this parish, with a perfectly legal and legitimate need for vampire blood!"
Lafayette: "I was pressured into giving all my V to the White Panthers, I have none. I don't deal drugs anymore. I am down to only having thirty-seven jobs."

Andy: (Starts roughing him up.)
Jason, immediately appearing: "Take it down! This man is not a suspect, he's not a person of interest, he is not a witness, and he is not a CI. So we got no reason to be questioning him."
Andy: "Right. Right, sorry. Must have got my drag queens mixed up."
Lafayette: (Annoyed.)

BACK OUT IN FRONT

Maxine comes in with Tommy Mickens, who is still limping with a cast because of when Sam shot him in the leg last year. Maxine is loving having a replacement Hoyt, and Tommy is loving having a mom for the first time in his entire life, and Maxine is all about handicap-accessible whatever, and they are just about disgusting together, and it is so great. Tommy's dressed like a Tommy doll of himself. The words "tushy cushion" come out of nowhere. He matches Arlene's fake smiley bullshit twinkle for twinkle.

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True Blood

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