True Blood
She's Not There

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: C+
The Dessert Of The Real, Or: Shut The Elf Up!

Earl: "So if it's been twenty years, I guess Adele's dead. How'd that go?"
Sookie: "Not so bad. She was chopped, screaming, limb from limb by a serial killer with a fake Cajun accent he learned from cassette tapes. Everything before that went pretty well, though."
Earl: "Oh, that's good to hear. And your parents?"
Sookie: "They drowned in a flood. I was getting molested at the time."
Earl: "It is so nice to visit and just catch up."

Sookie, at this point, sees through the Matrix -- a faerie looks like whatever, but you'll never know it because they put on the appearance of a hottie, but if they get mad or things get weird, you see through the glamour in little ripples -- and spots an unseemly Unseelie goblin-looking motherfucker on the prowl, and then she sees black demon goop pouring down the walls, and then notices the lumieres are sort of rotten looking.

Sookie pulls it together and remembers that A) This is still bad news, from a second ago, B) She is psychic, which it always takes her a while to remember for some reason, and C) Earl is also psychic.

Psychic Sookie: "Grandaddy Earl! Don't eat that fruit! This is a trap."
Psychic Earl: "A what?"

Psychic Everybody In The Whole Place: "Sookie, nice to see you are still capable of being dumb as shit."


The Queen appears. She's wack, making her a very good Mab -- which is to say, not quite a Titania (think more like Sophie-Anne) -- and she is having none of Sookie's mess.

Mab: "Little lady, the 'trap' is the world you've left behind."
Everybody, Even Sookie A Little: Bows deep, like it's Munchkinland and Glinda just showed up to condescend to everybody.
Mab: "At ease, y'all. Sookie, try some fruit."

Sookie, after trying to be a polite Southern lady for a while, finally just spikes her fruit and it rots on the ground. Mab's teeth get a little gobliny and Sookie stares. Mab weird-talks her way through the situation, which, in brief, is that thanks to Sookie being a fangbanger, Bill got to visit Faeryland -- or at least the foyer, the lobby, the portico -- and since it was vampires that chased the faerie out of our world in the first place, that's got TPTB all riled. They thought there were no faeries left, and now they know better.

So Mab wants to get all the faerie/humans out of our world so that vampires will go back to thinking faerie is not on the menu. She wants to do this by implying that Sookie and Earl and the rest of the psychics are kind of miscegenated, I think. Then, once all remnants of the faerie are over on this side, she'll close the doors forever. Sookie's point is that she's no longer interested in hanging out with vampires and can, in fact, "guaran-damn-tee" it. But Mab goes gobliny again and assures her that it's not really her call. Needless to say, Sookie smart-mouths her at this point.

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True Blood




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