True Blood
She's Not There

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Dessert Of The Real, Or: Shut The Elf Up!

~†WITCHHOUSE†~

It's been ten months since Lafayette's last scary vision after his trip with Jesus, but somehow tonight Jesus has convinced him to come to this lame magick shoppe and hang out with Wiccans and whatever. Lafayette has a mohawk and it's kind of amazing, because first you're like Lafayette looks crazy, and then you're like, Lafayette always looks crazy, how is this different?

Other places Jesus has dragged him to include meditation classes and the Dallas Pagan Faire. Jesus knows he's being humored, but swears the particular crone in charge of this coven -- "It's not a coven!" -- has some connection to the magic that Lafayette will appreciate.

Lala, before entering: "Five minutes. Ten if they got drinks."
Lala, after entering: "Smell like where old air fresheners go to die."

Doubtful. What it smells like, I can tell you from a lifetime of being raised by these women, is cats and more cats and sage and sweet grass and patchouli and cats. Well, maybe in Bon Temps they use scented candles. Because you know they've got about a million candles going, too. Jesus points out the beaded curtain they've got, like maybe that'll make Lafayette feel more at home, and he does hilarious Lafayette shade at the beaded curtain, and they go in.

Who is there is: A dork with a beard, a nerdy sex kitten, some other ladies, hipsters, Holly the Waitress who magically failed to abort Arlene's devil baby, and Fiona Shaw a.k.a. Petunia Dursley. That's Marnie, and man is she sad. She's just old and smells like pee and mutters to herself and looks like maybe she really does see other worlds than we do, but that maybe they could help her with that at the shelter.

The ladies -- because who loves the gays more than a lonely, lonely lady -- are overjoyed that Jesus finally brought his boyfriend (excuse me, "partner") and drag him over there to sit in the circle. The sexy nerd-girl, Katie, is especially close to Jesus and excited about the boyfriend. Lafayette is weirded out that Jesus has been talking to them about him, being naturally suspicious and also suspicious of witches and things, and also weirded out that Marnie is so fucked up and crazy-looking.

Lala: "She looks like she could use a nap."
Katie: "Oh no! She's transported herself to another plane. That's how she can contact the spirits of the dead."

Planes, what a hassle. Sometimes it's ghosts and sometimes it's faerie goblins.

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True Blood

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