Sarah: "PLEASE! FIX ME! DADDY PLEEEEEEEE..."

Dead.

AUTHORITY

Salome: "God chose us to make in His true likeness to transcend childish human notions of morality!"
Stripper: "Oh my God, even I'm getting sick of this shit. Just let me go, okay? NBD."
(Salome, without looking, slaps a hand over the chick's mouth. It is pretty stellar.)
Salome: "To refuse God's gift to us is blasphemy!"
Bill: "Sure, that checks out."

They eat the lady. None of this is making any sense at all. But I guess it was about how he was standing there wanting to eat the lady, and really Salome just had to say a certain number of words -- heartbeat in his ear, drugs in his system -- before he was like, "Fine. You know what? I'll join your religion." But the thing I still don't get is, how does the flashback help with that? Maybe because it was one of his first big self-loathing moments, where he was like, "I hate what I so much that I'm actually doing you a favor by being this cruel and cold-blooded and selfish," and now looking back he sees it was totally loose-butthole for him to even do that?

So then if his whole Dexter Morgan rat-eater code all these centuries was pinned to this idea of like, "I believe in mainstreaming so much because I have to because of Sarah," then it's like a double-twist Mobius strip of solving two wrongs with a right? Does that work? It untwists itself to, "I shouldn't have done that to Sarah, because vampires are awesome, so therefore I'm going to eat Destineé's stripper mom and that's fine, because now I'm joining a religion that says it was the right thing to do all along, and also I'm no drugs." That's the only way it makes sense, I guess. Especially considering we've known his whole personality is a sham since like Season One, it actually does make a lot of sense.

In a way, it's almost healthier in some respects -- minus the collateral damage -- because he never did it right in the first place. He wasn't mainstreaming because he loved humans, he was mainstreaming because he hated himself. And now he's got God in him, flowing through him like -- Erik brought this up last week -- how Lafayette always said you get a little bit of the vampire when you drink them, you know, which is why Bill and Sam had all that sex that time. (In my mind! But also in theirs, remember? Or how Lafayette and Eric basically dated for a minute that one time because of it, and Eric thought it was sooo funny and Lala thought it was soooo gross. God that was great.) Anyway, they pray and eat the lady at the same time, with God all up in their vampire organs, and then probably they have sex. Or are going to.