True Blood
Somebody That I Used To Know

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 4 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Lilith Wants Me To Eat A Baby

Obvious Drainer: "Hey, I seen you."
(That's literally all he says. I mean, he's hot, but he just goes, "I seen you.")
Drainer: "Why don't you come with me to a second location?"
Jessica: "Sure, that sounds totally normal."

AUTHORITY

Salome/Nora: "[We witnessed a miracle, we saw God, She smiled on us, blah blah.]
Russell: "I believe in God now, and PS she has great tits."
Stevie Newlin: "Me too or something!"
Babyeater: "That was a good baby I ate."
Salome: "Totally! Plus, our drug-induced hallucinations somehow prove that you can eat babies now. That's why I ordered up a bunch of terrified people-food to put in the jails."
Babyeater: "Can I have another baby? Lilith wants me to eat a baby I think."
Salome: "Sure, whatever! And a baby for Nigel, comin' right up."
Eric: "...I'm going to bed."

Bill stares into space. Eric gives him the wide-eyed jaw drop of pissy girlfriends eternal. Bill does not respond. Eric puts his hands on his hips and fakes a yawn. Bill crosses his arms over his chest. Eric leans down over the back of the couch and smacks his tongue disapprovingly. Bill shifts, nervous, but does not give in. Eric sits on the arm of the couch next to him, tapping his watch-face subtly; Bill starts a conversation with whoever is to his right. Finally Eric stands directly in front of him.

Eric: "Ahem. I am going to bed, Bill."
Bill: "...Goodnight."
Eric, stomping away: "Men!"

SHREVEPORT

Alcide and Rikki have wolf sex for a million years. On the one hand, Alcide's body is what pays the bills. On the other hand, wolf sex is even more embarrassing to watch than regular sex. One million years later, they talk about maybe she is his girlfriend. It is even less awesome than it sounds. At one point, he throws her onto the bed -- you know, like how wolves do that -- and then leaps onto her like a mighty leaping jaguar. It is so, so dumb.

AUTHORITY

Bill is summoned to Salome's chambers (formerly the Guardian's) for a late-night snack.

Stripper: "Please don't eat me! I have a four-month-old daughter, Destineé is her name!"
Bill: "Ah thank you, but Ah must admit Ah do not hungah currently."
Salome: "Who are you to refute God's plan? Feed on this woman as Lilith has commanded!"

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True Blood

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