True Blood
Somebody That I Used To Know

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 4 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Lilith Wants Me To Eat A Baby

Racists: "Okay so we're going to lock you two in here and not open the door until we hear you shooting her dead. You cool with that?"
Hoyt: "...Maybe."

It's ridiculously complex for no reason beyond the obvious escape that's going to happen, but points for kind of earning it by having him point the gun at her head and think about it for a while. Which kind of makes him irredeemable, but at least this dumb plotpoint is easier to swallow. Meanwhile Jessica's just like, "How about you don't kill me? Sizzle sizzle." Which would be nice if it were an act, because the second I got free? I'd drain that motherfucker dry. Point a gun at me, no sir. No sir.

FAERIE NONSENSE

The Stackchildren go back to Faerielande! and ask about the "other powers" they don't know about, specifically if they can help track down the person that killed their parents. The other fae are dicey about this, because Sookie is off her rocker most of the time and they don't need the hassle, and then Jason pulls a little boner:

Jason: "Y'all better speak up! Do you have any idea what it feels like to find out that your parents were murdered by a freaking vampire?"

All the faeries around the place start stumbling around in fear and whispering and generally acting like the Munchkins right before Elphie arrives, and Claude is like, "Oy with these country cousins." Additionally, the vibe now is that they didn't want Hadley telling Sookie or Jason about their parents for exactly this reason: Drama. Like they aren't interested in dealing with stuff in Bon Temps Dimension when their whole deal is about staying out of both places.

Claude: "You cannot come in here screaming about vampires. Do you hayseeds not understand the word 'refuge'? What the hell."
Claudette: "I know how we can help..."
Claude: "Claudette!"
Claudette: "What."

Claude: "Fine, okay. I love you both, and we've been taking care of you guys forever, and you're just going to have to understand that part of our relationship, that we care about you and you don't even know us, because that's a main part of this arrangement. Having said that, try to show a little class, and we will take you out for a field trip and teach you more powers."
Jason: "Field trip?"
Claude: "Yeah. The bridge where your parents were murdered. Meet me there at noon."
Sookie: "...That's so crazy! I completely forgot you could even do stuff in the daytime."

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True Blood

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