Nora and Bill Lilith-boarded Eric, causing Godric's children to hallucinate his (third, pretend) death in some kind of symbolic Hail Mary, which eventually caused Eric to fake (?) being a Lilinista convert. Jessica's none too sure about any of this, while Russell has abandoned the cause altogether because he just remembered Sookie is a faerie. Sookie found out she's "promised" to an M. Warlow, but not what that means, and Hoyt is bound for Alaska. Pam and Tara are stuck with a crummy new Sherriff and no customers. In animal-people news, Sam and Luna are at the Authority now, where Steve Newlin is being shitty to Emma, while Alcide and his drunk daddy are having incomprehensible werewolf problems.
Lilith: "Bill! Drink all of the Me!"
Bill: "Check. Oh, but wait. Is it possible Ah am just crazy now?"
Lilith: "Fuck you mean, now?"
Nora: "Speaking of crazy, I am still crazy."
Salome: "Nora, put on a nice dress. We've got the Army coming by. Are you doing okay?"
Nora: "Am I ever? Also, what about this whole Russell thing where he was in the prophecy that you made up, and now he's suddenly not in the prophecy that you made up?"
Salome: "Don't worry about it. Wanna make out?"
Nora: "I'm cool with whatever."
Bill: "Jessica! Why are you using my phone?"
Jessica: "To tell Jason about the vampire apocalypse and how Steve Newlin is constantly trying to fuck or kill him."
Bill: "Letting you use mah phone is not goin' to change the fact that the Stackhouses are a million miles of bullshit that Ah don't care about anymore."
Jessica: "Is this because you joined a vampire drug cult and think you're Jesus? How about you let me go make him a vampire, like in Vampire Bible? I promise I'm going to."
Bill: "Ah do not believe you would really do it, and you are a terrible liar. Therefore, I will send you with SWAT guys so you'll be forced to turn Jason. Think of it as mah punishment for you trying to use mah phone."
Eric: "It's possible I am more numbers of agent than Bill at this point."
Nora: "Hey, how is it going? Want to have sex out of nowhere?"
Eric: "I thought you had errands to run, because of the Army guy."
Nora: "To be honest I'm at sixes and sevens today."
Eric: "Fine, let's just do it and whatever."