True Blood
Song Of The Dead Faerie

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A
Lilith Flair

Bill: "Jessica, Ah am appalled at yore behavior!"
Jessica: "I'm really not interested in your judgy shit right now."
Bill: "It is all Ah ever have to offer!"
Jessica: "Pam said you are in a Nest and that you are on crazy pills. Also, you've spent the last five years doing way dumber shit than me pretending to save Jason Stackhouse. Like literally the entirety of this show, just for Sookie and her precious fairy sna..."
Bill: "-- Lilith commands that vampire hath dominion over human!"
Jessica: "You are such a fucking dork all the time!"
Bill: "You say fucking dork, Ah say VAMPIRE JESUS!"

Unfortunately, Bill takes this moment to beat the shit out of Jessica. As if he had any strikes left.


I like to imagine Lilith and Godric still hanging out in the ether, like, "Get a load of this shit. These people are idiots."

Lilith: "Salome! Drink all the Me! You're the real vampire Jesus."
Salome: "I kinda figured."


Steve and Russell zoom around the field smelling fairies and being very hungry about it and tweaking their nipples and it's hilarious and you're like, "What am I doing with my life, even?" And also the fae inside the other dimension are watching this happen like it's a movie, or like at the beginning of Labyrinth.

Elder: "You know what would be real nuts? If I went out there and got my ass eaten by Russell Edgington right now for no reason."

So she does. She accidentally zaps Jason about a million feet through the air instead of Russell, and then he eats her so bad that he can see Faerielande for himself. And invites himself on in for a little buffet.


It's the finale! All of the storylines suddenly come together and make sense! Just kidding!

I mean, every season everybody wigs about how the show doesn't bother connecting the dots or cutting down on characters, and every season I'm like, "You guys are so silly! Half of this is just casting sides for a character we'll see in one scene total. And the parallel storylines are challenging, admittedly, but you can always figure it out if you try." This year, I don't get it. I just don't understand. Lala, the ifrit, Tara... Is there any chance that the finale won't just be a cliffhanger onto the actual war next season? I know that it will be great -- this episode was packed with fun -- but will it actually wrap itself up and be like, "Ah. Got it"?

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True Blood




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