Jessica, awesomely: "Sorry, I just don't have any friends. I'm trying to demonstrate interest. I guess you can beat me up sometimes if you want, I'll be fine eventually because of how I'm a vampire. And I like talking to you, even though everything makes you act like an asshole."
Tara: "Fine. I will bring you a human being later that you can suck their blood. PS, I am totally in love with Pam now."
Jessica: "LOL. We totally braided each other's hair and talked about boys, and nobody even noticed. Hamby 1, Bitches 0."
Tara: "We're out of TruBlood, but you can feed on any of the sad gross people that still come here."
Authority Barb: "Actually I'm looking for Elijah? He's my progeny."
Tara: "Ugh, of course he is. Well, he's not here."
Authority Barb: "I can smell his exploded blood on you, first of all, and also a maker can always tell when her kid dies. We weren't crazy close, I have 204 kids, but I'm still going to fuck everything up for you."
Tara: "Not only do I not know what to do here, but I also am literally incapable of talking about this. Darn vampire rules."
Pam: "...Uh, sorry I killed your kid. But he was fucking annoying."
Authority Barb: "Then you're under arrest, just like you told Tara you would be. Also, hi Jessica."
Jessica: "Aw, shit. I guess my plan to hide out here was somewhat contingent on me, you know, actually hiding."
It is ludicrous, at this point, how many times Jessica has gone to the New Orleans compound and back in the last 36 hours. It's like her Mexico. And I mean, Tara's sad about Pam getting killed for this, but on the other hand how the hell else is Pam going to get to Eric and blow up the Authority? I mean, he's not there anymore, but there does seem to come a point in each season where Pam takes care of the shit, so you might as well put her where she can do the most damage.
Lilith: "Bill! I told you to drink all of me and become vampire Jesus!"
Bill: "And Ah said Ah would thank about it!"
Baby Vampires: "We're going to eat you! Except for this fence!"
Jackson: "That's how come the fence!"
Alcide: "Just in case, though, I'm going to go get killed by all those vampires."
Jackson: "Ugh, you're so dumb sometimes."