Sookie: "Also, I have been studying hostage negotiation by watching TV so I know that the magic cliché words are You can end this and You have all the power."
Marnie: "I have all the power. I can end this. Let's negotiate."
ELSEWHERE
Andy talks to himself, walking back to Caroline's house, about what a jerk Terry is for leaving him behind to get sober through a brisk walk. Then a fairy or two appears to him, and immediately one of them blasts him with hand-microwaves, because he smells like V.
Luna and Sam can't figure out where Marcus went with Emma; they think maybe he's in Mexico or Tibet or the moon. Emma literally has to call them on the telephone and explain to them that she is at his house. He kidnapped her to his house. Luna and Sam are not good at solving crimes.
MOONGODDESS
The vampires take down the possessed Sheriffs, and Pam does some more of her Desperate Housewives bullshit, and everybody talks about Antonia Gavilán de Logroño, and finally Marnie comes outside with Sookie. One of the Sheriffs ends up spiderwebbed on the magical barrier around the place, which it turns out is made of sunlight or something. Then this literally happens:
Bill & Eric: "You have killed your last vampire. Let Sookie go. Not her friends or Tara, just Sookie. You may not have seen this show before and thus be confused about what we meant."
Marnie: "Oh yeah? What do I get?"
Bill & Eric: "Anything you want."
Marnie: "How about you guys both commit suicide!"
Bill & Eric: "That sounds cool."
Marnie: "Haha, that was just a little joke. Of course you wouldn't... Wait, what?"
Daughters: "The fuck you say?"
Bill & Eric: "Yeah, and that's not even the stupidest thing that's going to happen in this episode."
Marnie: "Okay cool, I will totally let Sookie go if the other two main characters on this show -- who were willing to blow this place up before Jason yelled at them a minute ago -- decide to just up and kill themselves for no reason."
Pam: "Uh, no."
She fires a bazooka at the Emporium. It blows up and everybody dies. Just kidding, nothing actually happens except Marnie is validated that you can't negotiate, and Eric tells Pam to go to hell. The only two things that were ever going to happen there -- but still not really an error, because what the fuck were they even thinking with this suicide plotpoint? It's rare that the show is outright confounding.













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