Sookie: "Why won't Bill and Eric stop staring at me? Maybe it's because I keep staring at them."
Everybody: Keeps staring at everybody else.
Jessica: "So, how is it going with my blood all up in you?"
Jason: "I'm just happy I managed to talk four pissed-off, dorked-up vampires out of killing my sister. Also, I am high on your blood."
Jessica: "I know that it's tough that we are in love and you're constantly sucking my blood for different reasons, but I want to be a good friend."
Jesus: "I have no way of knowing how much this depressed creepy feeling has to do with going demon-faced, or just because we had a really long day with a lot of things happening, or what. You know how sometimes when you have a hangover you feel lots of regret and self-loathing? Perhaps there is a serotonin-reuptake situation about demon faces."
Lafayette: "Hooker you just need some rest. Everybody does black magic in bathrooms with young girls' corpses every now and then."
Jesus: "Also, though, I am sad about how Marnie was a really good friend of mine and, even though she sucked super bad by the end, I still dicked her around a few more times than I like. And then she got shot in the head, right in front of me."
Lafayette: "Well, I'm sure everything will be fine. As long as I don't open my mouth when vengeful ghosts appear, so they can take over my body all the time whenever they feel like it. Goodnight!"
Marnie's Ghost: Appears.
Lafayette: Immediately opens wide.
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps True Blood, Gossip Girl, and Pretty Little Liars for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook. IRL work appears in BenBella's SmartPop series of anthologies, most recently A Friday Night Lights Companion and Fringe Science.