True Blood
Sparks Fly Out

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
Driver's Ed

Adele says goodbye to everybody, and Terry Bellefleur throws his arms around Bill without prelude. "They don't understand, man. None of them will ever understand." There are little Dixie flags on all the tables; somebody's playing it on the piano. Normally that would be overkill, production-wise, but honestly that's what this event is all about. Bill realizes what's going on with Terry, and holds him for a moment. The Brother. Maxine and Hoyt, whose entire face lights up at this point whenever he's around Bill, take a photograph with him (Bill is happy to disprove the myth about mirrors and pictures); Bill is more human in this moment than I've ever seen him, so of course effin' Sookie walks up with Sam Marlotte in tow. She doesn't take her eyes off Bill's the entire scene; she introduces them and Bill's voice is gentle. "Yes. You're Sookie's employer." Sam nods, but notes that they're off-duty right now. "No," Bill says all nerdy, "Legally you still are." Sam is like, "Um okay weirdo," because that was hilarious and dorky. Frankly, Bill should be with Sookie for the free Not Acting Totally Weird lessons alone.

Sam tosses a few zingers and vague threats Bill's way about how like Bill may think he's got everybody fooled but not Sam Merlotte no sir, he will keep hating on Bill until they dig up every bone he ever buried, and Bill can go fuck himself and vampires suck and whatever. Sam finally forces her eyes away from Bill's by literally sticking his giant beautiful face in her face: "We're gonna grab a cup of coffee before we call it a night." Bill's like, "Coffee. Sounds delightful." But what he means is, "I hope that it contains poison and that you die when you drink the coffee with poison in it, because you suck and vampires rule." Sookie is tired of all their shit and takes off, hugging Adele and smiling at Bill. "He seems nice," Bill says with nearly zero discernable emotion, and Adele is about half dotty and half put out by the boy drama so she just goes, like, "Ungh?"

The ass cheeks of Randi Sue, how they do sway, like a flag fluttering in the wind. Randi Sue is maybe the grossest person ever on this show, besides Maudette Pickens and I guess the Coroner's fangbanger Assistant. Hoyt is all over it, and full of bravado and gender performance. "Man, this place is crawling with hot chicks and we're just sitting here like our balls are stuck together!" Hello to the imagery, which is actually kind of confusing. Rene points out that his chère, such as she is, works at the very establishment in which they are sitting, and Jason casually unsnaps his entire shirt and starts giving the table a massage, as if to say he gets laid so constantly and consistently that he's having sex right now, as we speak. Hoyt floats the idea that they should order some TruBloods, grossing Rene out, but cops to being totally fascinated by Bill and wanting to try some things. "I go to the dog races, you see me eating Alpo?" Fair point, rubbernecker. Hoyt stands by it, though: "Well, I just thought he was pretty cool, was all."

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True Blood




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