SHREVEPACK

Marcus: "In case you haven't figured it out yet, I am Emma's dad. I am going to go fuck things up for Sam and Luna in a minute."
Alcide: "This has been great. It was nice bromancing with you and I hope we can stay friends once stupid Debbie leaves me for you."
Marcus: "The ironic thing is that we like each other because we are both Alphas, but because we are both Alphas, our friendship is doomed."
Alcide: "Agreed. As a poet once incorrectly said, It's like meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife."

Debbie: "That was fun, right? Kind of like back in Jackson when we were pups."
Alcide: "The political angle makes me nervous, but yeah."
Debbie: "Alcide, allow me to reiterate that I am holding you hostage emotionally. I need two things to stay sane, and those two things are you and this Pack."
Alcide: "That sounds convincing. Dating an addict does fucked up things to your sense of reality."

Debbie: "Oh, and thing three is that you're not allowed to think about Sookie Stackhouse ever again. Both because I'm insecure and because I'm right that you are into her, but explicitly because our Packmaster just told us to stay away from vampires and witches, and vampires are a lot of Sookie's automatic baggage."
Alcide: "Okay."
Debbie: "I need you to promise me. I need you to look me in the eye and lie right to my face so I'll have an excuse to go bugshit crazy when you immediately go to her aid."
Alcide: "Done. Hey, in about five seconds can I drop you off at the house and then go do some mysterious things that are not related to Sookie Stackhouse in any way?"
Debbie: "Sure. I'll turn into a wolf and follow you so I can confirm my suspicions and finally get that excuse to blow off my sobriety that I've been looking for ever since it turned out Sookie wasn't dead and moving to Louisiana was not only random but super stupid."
Alcide: "Romance!"

OLD-TIMEY TIME

Voodoo ghost lady is named Mavis, and what she is doing is heading back home with a very familiar doll which she just bought for her baby, which she just gave birth to and left with her sister and her hot boyfriend so she could go shopping. Mavis gets things done. Upside is that her boyfriend is crazy hot and also has many accents. Downside is that he is married, and white, and just sent her sister home so he could kill their baby in private.