Bill: "Okay, here are my terms. We won't bite or rape you anymore, and anybody who attacks people will -- as already stated -- get True Deathed."
Antonia: "Sounds good. So we're good here? I don't really know how peace negotiations work."
Bill: "It would be nice if you turned my girlfriend's boyfriend back into a cocksucker, and also fix Pam's face. And stop being necromancers all the time because that's cheating when you claim it's your religion to do that."
Antonia: "Um, both of those people tried to literally eat me."
Bill: "Yeah, I'm not saying they're dicks, I'm saying we go back to square one and you stop trying to genocide us."
Antonia: "Somewhere along the way you figured out that I was going to kill all the vampires on Earth? Damn. I thought it would take you longer. No dice."
(She starts doing a spell in her head.)
Sookie: "Bill! Spell in her head!"
Antonia: "DEMONESS! Being a ghost inhabiting a necromancer medium is one thing, but reading minds is beyond the pale."
Eric, grinning like Godric on his most feral day, immediately jumps in and eats somebody. Everything goes to shit with a quickness. Antonia summons a great fog that covers the cemetery, witches are running around with silver, SWAT guys shooting gunsight lasers all over the place, the moon's still full, vampires eating witches, witches silvering vampires, total pandemonium.
Because it is ludicrous, though, it also looks like what I imagine LARPing is like. (Did you know how many LARP documentaries there are in the world? I have seen all of them. They are like crack to me. There are some that I have watched like five times. It may be my favorite genre of all things.) So everybody larps around the place having a big old excellent time, and then things get real personal.
Pam: "Hey Tara, I'm going to kill the shit out of you."
Tara: "Yeah, I figured."
Bill: "...Pam! As your King I forbid you!"
Pam: "That is so fucking lame! God damn it!"
Somewhere along the way, I think that Bill became my favorite character on this show. That is messed up, you guys. Hot messed!
Tara: "Wait, why did you just save me?"
Bill: "You honestly don't get it?"
Tara, begrudgingly: "...Yeah, no, I get it. Ugh, though."













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