True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 7 USERS: B+
A Rookie In Sex Narnia

...And it's the eighth episode of twelve, which means we're about to enter Act III of the season, which means everything is about to flip over anyway. So, thinking about all that, I'd be willing to bet the faeries are going to show up on Sunday. It would certainly explain the vague, elliptical trailers for the next episode, where Sookie -- spoiler! -- dies. (Also, explain to me the spammish benefit of overloading YouTube with a bunch of fake trailers that are all actually clips from Inland Empire and The Cell. I don't get that.)

The faeries are still on their way; they're just caught in the laws of relativity and the fact that time runs slower here. It took Claudine half the season to come get Sook, and she was in advance of the ones to follow, so they'll probably show up. Either at the end of the season, prepping us for next year, or -- what I would like to see -- abruptly forcing the ghosts, witches and vampires to ally against a worse threat. Because out of all of us, only the Fae have every right to be here, and only the Fae come from the factory with literal madness already installed.


Sookie & Eric: "We are here to fight with you."
Bill: "What? I got so much shit going on right now you guys..."
Sookie: "No, like fight with you."
Bill: "Sookie, you are three feet tall. No way."
Eric: "She has a warrior's heart, Majesty. And sexual stamina also."
Bill: "Granted, and gross me out, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose this one anyway."
Eric: "You don't fight the wars you can win, you fight the wars you have to."
Bill: "Now I have learned the ways of manhood."

Eric: "So can we be in your War? I want to tear some shit up."
Bill: "Maybe I just don't want to risk Sookie's life like you do, because I am a better boyfriend and you are a worser one."
Sookie: "Maybe both of you should shut the fuck up and let me talk."
Bill & Eric: Actually do.

Sookie: "I have magic powers. Stomping, yes, and being adorable, but also microwave hands that blow shit out of the water, and also I can read minds."
Bill: "You also have the magic powers of being a human. I'm not being sexist when I say that anybody else involved in this shit could break you over their knee."
Sookie: "I am coming to terms with the negotiations of existing in a world where physical strength outweighs my suffrage. However, I must also reiterate that I am a blow-you-up powerhouse of microwave hands that may or may not work at any given time. Also, I am not going to give up on this, so you might as well fold. Or do I have to get really annoying? Because I will fucking do it."
Bill: "Ah concede your point."

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True Blood




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