True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 7 USERS: B+
A Rookie In Sex Narnia


Marcus: "Yes, the Vampire/Witch War is very interesting, but we are not going to get involved. That is two kinds of crazy we do not want to be involved in."
Some Puppy: "I will beat up all kinds of vampires and witches!"
Marcus: "I just told you that we're not going that."
Puppy: "I am challenging your authority! Teenage boys are like dogs sometimes!"
Marcus: "I might have to 'alpha' you some more, or make up some other dorky words."


Sam: "Hey, sorry my brother raped you that time but thanks for helping me figure it out. I just want you to know that I alienated and deserted him for the eighteenth time. I think it'll work out pretty well, considering I was his only link to humanity."
Luna: "I don't care, your whole family is gross."
Sam: "You don't even know. Honestly, I am more pissed about the you part than the part where he murdered our parents, is how gross my family is."

There's a fairly neat moment when Sam tells her about the dogfights and Luna throws up in her mouth a little: A moment's compassion for what was done to Tommy.

Luna: "Okay, well, thank you for the opportunity to dump you again..."
Emma: "Sam! We are friends! Come play Barbies with me! It's my only personality trait!"
Sam: "Emma! I like kids and playing Barbies! I have no other friends!"
Luna: "Huh. I guess we're dating again."

Emma, verbatim: "My Barbie who's a pony likes you, but my Barbie who's a cat doesn't like you. She doesn't like anybody."
Luna: "Cat Barbie doesn't like me either. I hate that little bitch."
Sam: "Emma, do you think it's possible for us to make Cat Barbie like me?"
Emma: "You don't really get how this works, do you? We're shifters, the three of us -- I might also be a werewolf, it's not clear -- and the Pony and the Cat signify the two sides of our nature."
Sam: "I just want everybody to like me. Even Barbie dolls."


Eric: "I am not doing so well, because of all that silver you put all over me. I haven't had a bite to eat since your fairy godmother."
Sookie: "Let me go get you a Tru-Blood."
Eric: "No, that won't help either. I just want to lie here feeling shitty for awhile."
Sookie: "You want some of my blood?"
Eric, verbatim: "Please don't say this if you don't mean it."
Sookie: "It's reckless and foolhardy, plus the possibility that you will actually control your cravings and not suck the life out of me is key to all vampire romance novels. Of course I mean it."
Eric: "Okay. Hit me with some chains if you feel like you're about to die."

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True Blood




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