Jason grins conspiratorially, like children talking about sex, and says he read in Hustler that everybody should have sex with a vampire at least once before they die. Maudette assures him once is precisely as many times as is necessary. "He was way too rough. I mean, I like to be rough sometimes, but..." Jason takes the bait and asks the requested question: "You like it rough?" She says yes: "It's not like it's gonna kill me. And if it does, well, then I won't care, will I?" Even Jason is weirded out by this fucked-up reply and starts looking for his pants, because one thing you don't do with a person who hasn't dealt with a nasty sexual history is adding to it. Desperately, she speaks up: "I videotaped it. With the vampire." She runs her hands lightly along his naked thighs and asks if he wants to watch. Of course he does: he's an investigator of these things. It's how he solves the equation, it's how he's done his whole life. He grins and tosses his pants aside again.

Sookie drops her tray on the bar near Tara, whose life sucks. She reminds her friend not to be feeling sorry for herself -- "That's just lazy!" -- and Tara wonders aloud why she can't keep a job. Sookie offers that perhaps it's because she can't keep her mouth shut, and Tara calls her a bitch. They laugh. Sam asks how Sookie's night's going, and offers to improve it for her, with a bit of a glimmer in his eye. She stares at him, completely innocently just as she intends, and eventually he is embarrassed. She doesn't even notice, though, because she's hearing something that isn't there.

A piano plays across the scene, as a man enters Merlotte's and sits down in a booth. He finally turns and looks at her, and they stare at each other. This is the heir of Compton, vampire at large, powerful and magical and every bit as courtly and anachronistic as Sookie's own Alice In Wonderland/Little House On The Prairie combo of blunt pragmatism and Miss Manners etiquette. She's a little afraid of the sudden silence; he senses it and raises his head and she squeals to Sam and Tara, delighted. "Oh my God! I think Merlotte's just got its first vampire!" Sam agrees, hackles raised, and Tara stares distrustingly. Sookie's happier than we've seen her.