Hoyt, Rene and Arlene are hanging out at Merlotte's; Tara's sitting at the bar reading a book as a large bubba customer approaches from the front and Lafayette approaches from the back, excitedly: "Hey, hooker! How you doing, what are you doing here?" He has real trouble believing she works there ("The hell you don't") and she returns the serve: "Oh yes the hell I do too, you ugly bitch. You need to make peace with that." Okay, for some reason watching them bitch each other out is the most charming thing so far in this show. How -- how -- is Lafayette so awesome? If you made a list of things I can't deal with and then crushed that list into a fine paste and made it into a person it would be this person, and yet? I think it's the actor, in great part, but also the way the character's written, he's like this ... serious force, at the middle of the storm, issuing these statements and things and still being a person. The whole Kenneth Anger component is heightened when he's around, even just chatting. "Shit. Sam must have lost his damn mind, because you should not be allowed to work in no situation where you actually got to interact with people." Oh, and BTW? Lafayette is punctuating every line in this entire scene by pouring straight vodka into his coffee mug, swigging it, and pouring it again; also, trying to fuck the good old boy across the bar without actually touching him.

The dude finally snaps at her, fed up with waiting on her rude ass. And, of course, she erupts. "Do... Do not snap at me. I have a name. And that name is Tara. And isn't that funny? Black girl being named after a plantation? [He laughs, of course, because that's what white people do in this instance.] No I don't think it's funny at all, in fact, it really pisses me off that my mama was either stupid or just plain mean -- which is why you better be nice if you plan on getting a drink tonight." He apologizes, calling her "ma'am," and they go back to their conversation. Lafayette asks if Sookie knows about Jason yet, but Tara didn't even know yet, so Lafayette pours another shot for the betrayal of confidences and total incoming drama. "Are you serious? Jason couldn't kill anybody. And he can do a hell of a lot better than Maudette Pickens." Lafayette laughs at her and her enduring crush, which she denies, calling him stuck-up. "That boy is sex on a stick," Lafayette says. I don't give a good damn how stuck-up he is." Bubba at the bar shrinks back, and Lafayette stares him down -- which, if you're into these big trucker guys like certain people I myself know, is a pretty good specimen: "How you doin'?" Tara calls him out for -- and she would know -- "scaring that white boy," but Lafayette knows the game even better than she does. "Ain't nobody scaring him, he's too big to be scared. I likes a big man. Look at that belly. Dance all over your ... You can be my Santa Claus." He heads back to the kitchen to fry things, tossing back a hilariously off-the-cuff "I'm in the phone book!" 5:3 it works. Just saying.