True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Say Hello To The Rest Of Us

Jason's got Maudette tied up for the investigation, hanging from the ceiling by her wrists, fucking her from behind. "You like this? Being punished? You're a sick -- little -- vampire -- fucker. You like that, Pickens?" The camera trails along her bookshelf, reflecting their bodies: prom pictures, those creepy baby statues, all the bits of a life, and finally a video camera, taping the whole thing. "Come on. You look at me. You let a dead man fuck you? Fuckin' disgust me. It's too bad I don't have fangs, huh? Rip your fuckin' throat out." He wraps his hands around her throat as he goes. Safety first, people. If you're gonna bone the town slut, at least have a safeword.

The vampire awakes, pinned to the ground with a delicate silver chain laid across his wrists and neck. I like that. The vampire has black hair and sad eyes. The Rattrays bitch at each other over his body, waiting for his blood to finish draining. Why are they doing this out in the middle of everything? No time to wait: "I just need some V-juice. I need it bad. My body is starting to hurt and I just need to get it in me." Denise notes that her husband is a drug addict, which should have been obvious if they'd just looked in the mirror back at their trailer. Sookie sneaks up behind Mack and bashes him with the chain just as he's telling Denise about how when she talks, all he hears is "a-yada-yada-yada," and he goes down. He pulls out a knife to cut her up with, and she tosses the chain around his neck as the vampire stares.

The chain moves of itself, like a coiling snake, pulling tighter around his neck. He falls. "This ain't your business, you stupid cunt," says Denise, which Sookie -- now holding a knife in addition to her Carrie shit that just showed up -- takes the c-word as proof of "how low-rent" Denise really is, and there's some of this "do you know who you are dealing with" kind of talk, and the whole time the chain is still quite actively choking Mack to death. Sookie tells Denise, voice shaking, that she's not worried about being on Denise's bad side because that's all Denise has, being "no-account, backwoods trash," and Denise -- not interested in getting into hand-to-hand with a knife-wielding telepathic retard -- goes for the bags of V-Juice instead, but Sookie warns her off. Denise promises to kill Sookie for interrupting their little murder and beating up her husband, whatever, and she drags him away. He still can't get the chain off, but her hateful monologue is pretty funny: "Come on, Mac. This ain't over. Come on. Get up, Mack. Why can't you take that fuckin' thing off? I ain't got time for a fuckin' cripple, because I'm getting out of here one way or the other." And the whole time Mack's just grunting and screeching like crazy. It's satisfying like on Intervention when they cry.

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True Blood

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