True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
What Distant Deeps Or Skies

Bill and Sookie are now wandering through a graveyard. I mean, jury's still out on Bill because he's not that interesting so far -- being mostly at this point a personality-free and imminently projectable floating romantic signifier, like any good sparkly-skinned vampire boyfriend -- and you know I love Sookie to death, but: queer much? "How did your Goth As Fuck date with vampire boyfriend go?" Oh, we wandered through a graveyard and talked about his long-dead relatives and then we went to his house and read CaitlĂ­n Kiernan stories to each other and we watched some flowers die and talked about permanence and evanescence and then we listened to some Evanescence and I painted a little curlicue under my eye and he gave me a silver ankh and then we listened to This Mortal Coil and I made little cuts on my leg and then we put "Trust" by the Cure on repeat like a hundred times and things were getting hot and heavy -- or I guess in this case lukewarm and heavy -- and finally I go "Fuck me like Lestat would" and he's all, "...Up the ass?"

Sookie backtracks to the whole "glamour somebody into letting you bite them" thing and asks if it's like Tara said, something like hypnosis. He admits that it's similar, and something to which all humans are susceptible. So of course Sookie's two main questions are 1) Is that why I'm into you (no) and 2) Why not give it a shot? He is infinitely uncomfortable with the idea and steps away, and she calls him chicken, because she wants to try all the things there are. There's challenge in her eyes and he laughs at this transparent maneuver, but he goes for it. It is hilarious. He turns suddenly and fixes her with a creepy eye, and steps closer and closer like a snake charmer and she's all breathy and vague and staring and he goes, "Suckie. Can you feel my influence?" It's kind of hot, and he's leaning in, and her lips part, and he's all mojo guy in her face, and finally she cracks up. "No! Not a bit. Sorry!" He's something like bothered by this. "Well, Suckie, this is very strange." She gets in his face, having won like round a hundred, and laughs at him. "You don't like not being able to control people, do you?" She drags him off through the graveyard, skipping along with his hand in hers. "It's not a very attractive trait." He admits that he's taken aback, but only insofar as that humans are generally much more squeamish about vampires. She stops so she can have another memory download and asks how on earth she's supposed to be freaked out by a freak.

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True Blood

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