The shot tracks to the counter, where Terry's got an order up, and then around to the back, where Sookie's running in. You can see the sparks along her skin: the easy answers swirling in her head. It all makes sense now; needs met, never alone again, born out of grave dirt. Sam expresses his deepest sympathies for the horrible sad tragedy of Bill's total death, and she's like, "OH, THINGS ARE AWESOME! BILL'S ALIVE! THEY SAID FOUR BODIES! AND I THOUGHT BILL WAS ONE OF THEM! BUT HE WASN'T! NOT AT ALL! IN FACT HE'S COMPLETELY AWESOME!" Sam is crestfallen, to say the least. My patience with Sam Merlotte is waning. "That must be quite a relief for you," he responds lamely, and she's like "YOU HAVE NO IDEA! ANYWAYS NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME! BECAUSE I AM GREAT! GREATGREATGREATGREAT!" She bounces between the ceiling and the floor about sixty billion times and then goes zooming off in another direction; he is bewildered and more than a little sad.

Arlene bugs her about her tardiness, but Sookie just gives her another one of those spooky-eyed lovefest caresses and screams, "YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL TODAY! I LOVE YOU! EVEN IF YOU ARE A BIGOT! SOMETIMES!" Arlene asks Sam WTF and he's like, "Oh, Bill unfortunately didn't die-die like we thought." Terry, frustrated and edgy, calls the order up for the third time, but Sookie is too busy completely freaking out Hoyt and Rene. "HE GOT MY MESSAGE THAT SOMETHING BAD MIGHT BE BREWING! SO HE FIGURED HE'D SPEND THE NIGHT IN THE GRAVEYARD!" Hoyt, sweetly, asks if he didn't get cold, and Sookie gets twice as fucking weird. "NO! HE WAS IN THE GROUND!" Also, nobody asked for this charming story, Sookie. This shit is why people think you are retarded.

"SO AFTER I COULDN'T FIND HIM THEN I HEARD ABOUT THE FOUR BODIES AT THE BURNT-UP HOUSE! YOU CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH! IMAGINE IT! YOU CANNOT! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE! I AM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW THAT I THINK I AM HOLDING YOUR INTEREST! INSTEAD OF FREAKING YOU THE FUCK OUT!"

Rene asks if there were, as reported, three of the troublemaker vamps, who was the fourth body? "TO BE HONEST I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK! BECAUSE IT WAS NOT BILL! BUT I HEARD IT WAS A FANGBANGER! HAVE YOU HEARD OF THOSE BECAUSE BLESS THEIR HEARTS! IT IS SO SAD! IT IS THESE GIRLS WHO HAVE SEX WITH VAMPIRES! SOMETIMES RIGHT THERE IN A GRAVEYARD! THEY ARE DISGUSTING AND PATHETIC! I AM DIFFERENT BECAUSE I AM IN TRUE LOVE! BUT THEY ARE JUST BEING USED! FOR SEX! ALSO BLOOD! ANYWAY I HAVE TO GO TAKE VITAMIN B-12 FOR ALL THE BLOOD I GOT SUCKED OUT OF ME BY A VAMPIRE WHO WAS FUCKING ME REALLY HARD IN A GRAVEYARD, LOL! BYE BYE NOW!"